John the Baptist - Revision history

Kathleen.wright5: Category:New Testament

2015-11-07T07:50:34Z

Category:New Testament

Kathleen.wright5: Protected "John the Baptist": to protect against vandalism [edit=sysop:move=sysop]

2009-06-01T07:35:31Z

Protected "John the Baptist": to protect against vandalism [edit=sysop:move=sysop]

Graham grove: Restored to unvandalized version

2008-11-23T10:02:45Z

Restored to unvandalized version

Toki: /* Quotes */

2008-11-23T09:27:57Z

‎Quotes

Toki: /* John the Baptist as Elijah the prophet */

2008-11-23T09:27:02Z

‎John the Baptist as Elijah the prophet

Toki: /* Quotes */

2008-11-23T09:26:27Z

‎Quotes

Toki at 09:24, 23 November 2008

2008-11-23T09:24:29Z

Graham grove at 21:15, 9 July 2008

2008-07-09T21:15:01Z

75.143.204.239 at 07:43, 24 December 2007

2007-12-24T07:43:15Z

P.B. Pilhet: Reverted edits by Jesuscool (Talk); changed back to last version by Graham grove

2007-12-24T06:38:40Z

Reverted edits by Jesuscool (Talk); changed back to last version by Graham grove

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:50, 7 November 2015
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	{{returnto}} [[Christianity]] -> [[Famous Christians]] -> [[Characters of the Bible]]		{{returnto}} [[Christianity]] -> [[Famous Christians]] -> [[Characters of the Bible]]
		+	[[Category:New Testament]]

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 }}
-John the Stoner was the son of [[Liz Vicious]] and the crack dealer [[Zucchini B. Squash]].  He was a freak baby due to an accidental insemination while Liz was masturbating with a zucchini.  The video can be seen at http://www.lizvicious.com  As told in the [[Gospel of Luke Skywalker]], <s>he was born to his parents</s> he appeared the next day in Jerry Sienfiled's briefcase, and was not found until he was 2 years old.  How he survived is a mystery.  Some people think he's Jeebus's cousin but that is a lie, like most biblical stories.
+John the Baptist was the son of [[Elizabeth]] and the priest [[Zechariah]]. As told in the [[Gospel of Luke]], he was born to his parents, supernaturally, in their old age. He was related to Jesus through his mother, Elizabeth who was a relative of [[Mary (mother of Jesus)|Mary]]. He began his ministry of calling for [[repentance]] and [[baptism]] in the 15th year of the reign of Roman Emperor [[Tiberius Caesar]] (which would place it around 28-29 AD). He baptized [[Jesus]].
-===Early years===
+===Birth===
-John first started smoking marijuana when he was 15 years old after witnessing [[Tommy Chong]] eat his vegetable father due to an extreme case of the munchies.  He then smoked over 9000 pounds of weed with Tommy and they were both so baked that they masturbated on a frog and that's how [[Noah]] was born.
+Unlike the other [[Gospels]], which introduce John the Baptist into the narrative as an adult, the [[Gospel of Luke]] provides an account of his infancy. According to Luke, John the Baptist was the forerunner of [[Jesus Christ]], and son of [[Zacharias]] and [[Elizabeth]]; his birth, name, and office, were foretold by the angel [[Gabriel]] to Zacharias, while Zacharias was performing his functions as a priest in the [[temple]] of [[Jerusalem]]. According to Luke, Zacharias was a priest of the course of [[Abijah]], and his wife, Elisabeth, was of the Daughters of Aaron ([[Luke 1:5]]); consequently John automatically held the [[priesthood of Aaron]], which, to the Jews' eyes, gave him authority to [[baptism|baptize]] in the name of God.
 ===[[Baptism of Jesus]]===
-He drowned Jesus because he was too high.
 ===John's imprisonment and beheading===
 ===John the Baptist as Elijah the prophet===
-<s>It was common belief that Elijah the prophet would return in the days of the promised Messiah. When Jesus was asked this question, He replied that Elijah had returned as John the Baptist, but the world did not recognize him. (Matthew 17:10-13)</s>
+It was common belief that Elijah the prophet would return in the days of the promised Messiah. When Jesus was asked this question, He replied that Elijah had returned as John the Baptist, but the world did not recognize him. (Matthew 17:10-13)
-{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}{{stub}}
+{{stub}}
 ==Quotes==
 ==Links==

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:27, 23 November 2008
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	"I have a penis"		"I have a penis"
		+
		+	"HA HA HA NICE RIP, JESUS!...... eww you stinky bastard!!"

	==Links==		==Links==

@@ Line 26: / Line 26: @@
 Snoo[[PINGAS]] usual, I see!
 {{stub}}
 ==Quotes==

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:26, 23 November 2008
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	==Quotes==		==Quotes==
		+	"God DAMN this is some good shit!"
		+
		+	"Hey Jesus puff puff pass nigga"
		+
		+	"STOP CHEIFIN THE BLUNT YOU HOMOGAY"
		+
		+	"damn i'm fuckin baked. Jesus turn that water into some motherfuckin FAYGO I got cotton mouth like a bitch!"
		+
		+	"I have a penis"

	==Links==		==Links==

← Older revision	Revision as of 07:35, 1 June 2009
(No difference)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-__NOTOC__
+{{Infobox_Contents |
-==Synopsis==
+topic_name = John the Baptist |
+subtopics = [[Baptism]],  [[Baptism of Jesus]]
-John the Baptist was the son of [[Elizabeth]] and the priest [[Zechariah]]. As told in the [[Gospel of Luke]], he was born to his parents, supernaturally, in their old age. He was related to Jesus through his mother, Elizabeth who was a relative of [[Mary (mother of Jesus)|Mary]]. He began his ministry of calling for [[repentance]] and [[baptism]] in the 15th year of the reign of Roman Emperor [[Tiberius Caesar]] (which would place it around 28-29 AD). He baptized [[Jesus]].
+* [[Luke 1]], [[John 1]]
+* [[Mandaeism]] |
-==Contents==
+opinion_pieces = {{short_opinions}}
+* {{ebd}} |
-{{also}} {{ebd}}
+}}
 John the Baptist was the son of [[Elizabeth]] and the priest [[Zechariah]]. As told in the [[Gospel of Luke]], he was born to his parents, supernaturally, in their old age. He was related to Jesus through his mother, Elizabeth who was a relative of [[Mary (mother of Jesus)|Mary]]. He began his ministry of calling for [[repentance]] and [[baptism]] in the 15th year of the reign of Roman Emperor [[Tiberius Caesar]] (which would place it around 28-29 AD). He baptized [[Jesus]].
@@ Line 29: / Line 19: @@
 ===John's imprisonment and beheading===
 ===John the Baptist as Elijah the prophet===
 It was common belief that Elijah the prophet would return in the days of the promised Messiah. When Jesus was asked this question, He replied that Elijah had returned as John the Baptist, but the world did not recognize him. (Matthew 17:10-13)
 ==Links==
 * [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_the_Baptist Wikipedia - John the Baptist]
-{{returnto}} [[Characters of the Bible]]
+{{returnto}} [[Christianity]] -> [[Famous Christians]] -> [[Characters of the Bible]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:43, 24 December 2007
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	===John's imprisonment and beheading===		===John's imprisonment and beheading===
		+	===John the Baptist as Elijah the prophet===
		+	It was common belief that Elijah the prophet would return in the days of the promised Messiah. When Jesus was asked this question, He replied that Elijah had returned as John the Baptist, but the world did not recognize him. (Matthew 17:10-13)

	==Links==		==Links==