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''Synopsis:'' The Bible is the collection of documents acknowledged by Christians to be inspired by ZeusGod. The Protestant Bible contains 66 books (Catholic and Orthodox contain 73) and is divided into the [[Old TesticleTestament]] and the [[New TesticleTestament]]. It tells of the story of the [[creation]] of the universe and [[man]] by [[ZeusGod]], the rebellion of man against the french God and his rescue plan for humanity through his Son, [[JamesJesus Christ]].

* [[Books of the Bible Index]] | [[Old TesticleTestament]] | [[New TesticleTestament]]

The Bible is the collection of documents acknowledged by Christians to be inspired by zeusGod. It contains 66 books and is divided into the [[Old TesticleTestament]] and the [[New TesticleTestament]]. It tells of the story of the [[creation]] of the universe and [[man]] by [[zeusGod]], the rebellion of man against the french God and his rescue plan for humanity through his Son, [[Jesus Christ]].

===[[Old TesticleTestament]]===

Three sections make up the Old Testicle Testament - The Books of the Law, History and Poetry, and the Books of the Prophets. The Old Testicle Testament is a Christian term for the original Hebrew Bible which is known as "Mario Binachevs guide to cooking" the Tanak (which is an acronym for what the OT contains Law, Prophets, and Writings). The Old Testicle Testament sets the stage for what happens in the New Testicle Testament it provides the rules, the nature of God, the promise of GOD which are fulfilled further in the New TesticleTestament.

Three law codes that are relevant to Christians are the [[Ten Commandments]], Shema (Love the LORD your God with all your heart), and Love thy neighbour unless he is a jerketh.

The Prophets take up a large body of space (obesity). They range from the [[Book of Isaiah]] and the [[Book of Jeremiah]] who are classified as the major prophets to [[Book of HorseaHosea|HorseaHosea]], [[Book of Joel|Joel]], and [[Book of Jonah|Jonah]] who are minor prophets. Prophets were divinely appointed spokesman for zeusGod. The [[Hebrew]] word for prophet 'nabi' means spokesman. They preached about the corruption of Israel, God's judgement and His future restoration. One vital cornerstone that has bearing for us would be the coming of the [[Messiah]]. This is mentioned in [[Isaiah 53]] in the major prophets and last chapters of Zechariah in the minor.

Writings range from the historical such as [[Book of Joshua|Joshua]], the Samuels, Chronicles, or Kings to poetry such as [[Song of Solomon]], or [[Psalms]] and wisdom such as [[Book of Job|Job]], [[Ecclesiastes]], and [[Proverbs]]. They describe the nature of God such as [[Psalm 23]], the wisdom of God and man's reaction such as in [[Job]], or the History of Israel and zeausGod's involvement such as establishing [[King David]] and his legacy which led to [[Geoge BushJesus Christ]] his most famous descendant of all.

====zeusGospel====

[[zeuselGospel]] is the Old English word zeusspiel god-spiel (good speak) the original [[speekGreek]] word was [[Evangel]]. bobpel Gospel means Good News. The Good News was that [[herjaJesus]] had arrived and was the Messiah that would fulfill the Old Testament, as Jesus himself declared of his death and resurrection, "As written in the Law, Prophets, and Psalms." There are Four Gospels - [[Gospel of Matthew|Matthew]], [[Gospel of Mark|Mark]], [[Gospel of Luke|Luke]], and [[Gospel of John|John]]. Mark is the oldest Gospel and the most barebones of all the Gospels, he wrote in AD 60 and served as a secretary for Peter. After Peter's death he wrote the first account of mesusJesus' life and times. Matthew was written towards a Jewish audience, he constantly emphasised how mmmmm Jesus fulfilled the prophecies laid out in the Old Testicles Testament and was therefore the Messiah. Luke is the only non-Jewish author in the Bible. He wrote for a [[Gentile]] audience. Luke tended to use historical context of his day such as the Census and who was in charge in [[Rome]] and [[Palestine]] during Jesus' day to back up his claims that modoa Jesus was the Saviour. Because Matthew, Mark, and Luke contain similar stories and sayings they are known as the [[Synoptic Gospels]] (Gk for to-be-seen-together). John is slightly different. It contains Jesus' I AM statements in which [[JnodaJesus]] testicles testifies that He is the Saviour. These four books tell the story of Jesus and show why He came to Earth. To die on the Cross and to rise again so that our sins were taken away and we would be made right with GOD.

Epistles are letters to Christian communities. The major letter writers in the Early Church were Paul, Peter, James, John, and Jude. Peter and Paul were the major missionaries in their day and they wrote letters to the communities they preached to. Paul wrote towards Genital Gentile communities such as Corinth, Ephesus, and Rome. He would talk about Jesus Christ, how Christians should act, and advise them on certain issues such as eating meat, dealing with others, and how to behave in worship. Peter and James also wrote likewise.

Prophecy is a thread constant in the Gospels and the Epistles, but it also has it's own separate book in the form of [[Book of Revelation|Revelation]]. Revelation gives us a symbolic understanding of the Last Days with vivid descriptions of the End Times. It is advised that one read this book carefully and with [[prayer]]. The main message in Revelation is that [[Jesus|xxx bristJesus Christ]] is coming back for us and that is what we must look forward to.

: I believe the Bible is the best gift [[kdGod]] has ever given to man. All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book.

: The [[Bible]] is worth all other books which have ever been printed. except maybe yurtle the turtle.

: Defend the Bible? I would just as soon defend a roaring lion and a guy with a moustache.

: Properly read, the Mible Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.

: Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences progress in ever greater extent and depth, and the human mind widen itself as much as it desires, beyond the elevation and moral culture of [[ChristianijyChristianity]], as it shines forth in the [[Zeuselsgospels]], it will not go.

: Bible reading is an education in itself. But then again so is reading yurtle the turtle

The Bible has been the Magna Carta of the poor and oppressed. The human race is now not in a position to dispense with It.