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[[Image:Nativity sceneChristmasFrom Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.jpg|thumb|The nativity scene]]''SynopsisJump to:'' Christmas (or Christmas Day) is the annual Christian holiday that celebrates the [[birth of navigation, searchJesus]]. It is traditionally observed on December 25. Eastern Orthodox Churches celebrate it on January 7. These dates are merely traditional. Christmas Loves This ArticleThe Jee Man Himself has many aspectsShown, both religious and secularin His infinite Wisdom, including that He is the exchange Ultimate Purveyor of giftsall things Awesome, Santa Claus (or Father Christmas)Nifty, Spiffy, decoration and display of the Christmas tree, generally Interesting. He has personally Reviewed this article and church services remembering [[Jesus]]Given His Blessing. The submitter may be Forgiven three venial sins or one mortal sin.

Christmas (or Christmas Day) is an annual Christian holiday that celebrates “In the [[birth of Jesus]]. It is traditionally celebrated on December 25th by most Christian; in the [[Eastern Orthodox Church]] it celebrated on January 7. It is a time when peace and goodwill are especially called for, and a time when Christians remember that [[God]] came down as a frail human, to save us from our [[sin]]. Christmas has many aspects, both religious and secular, including the exchange of gifts, Santa Claus (or Father Christmas)Free World, decoration and display of I own the Christmas tree, and church services remembering [[Jesus]].template!!”

====Contents [[Birth hide]1 The Celebration of Christmas 2 What is the true meaning of Jesus]]====Christmas? 3 Replacement with "Holiday" 4 X-Mas 5 Is Christmas losing its Commercial origins? 6 Santa Claus: Democrat or Republican? 7 Who is this so called Santa Claus and is he really watching us?? 8 See Also

Jesus was born to a virgin named [[Mary (mother edit] The Celebration of Jesus)|Mary]] ChristmasDevout Christians celebrate Christmas with the same rituals every year. They gather together in a nice, cozy, warm SUV, and drive to a parking lot, where they celebrate the town joy of [[Bethlehem]] squeezing into a parking spot while screaming at pedestrians who are in their way. They then run around 4 BCthe store, attempting to buy as many things as possible before the store closes at midnight on Christmas Eve. After they finish buying as much as possible, they go back to their houses and eat turkey, along with drinking alcohol. They also present Christmas cards.

There are numerous predictions about Jesusis no real standard for the kind, amount, or number of Christmas gifts presented; the only real requirement is that one' birth in s credit card balances must have gone up by at least 165% with at least one card maxed out. If the [[Old Testament]]giver hasn't achieved this, particularly in then obviously the [[Book of Isaiah]]. The story giver doesn't love any of the people on his birth is told Christmas list and will die horribly alone and unloved in gospel accounts return. Remember: bankruptcy = love at Christmastime. They then gather around a Christmas tree (typically made of [[Gospel of Matthew|Matthew]] ([[Matthew 2|chapter 2]]cardboard or plastic) and [[Gospel sing Christmas songs, classic holiday tunes such as "Every kiss begins with Kay," "Snap Crackle & Pop", and the holiday classic, "Welcome to Chili's". Also, people sometimes decorate their homes with bright Christmas lights, usually ones guaranteed to cause seizures. As part of Luke|Luke]] ([[Luke 2|chapter 2]])the Christmas cheer, these lights are put up before thanksgiving and are left on until mid-June.

====Pre-Christian origins [edit] What is the true meaning of Christmas?"The true meaning of Christmas is going on shopping sprees and watching washout celebrities sing badly on T.V.", says an expert on the holiday====, "But some don't see that. I, and many other Christians, am greatly concerned by the increasing tendency to honor the birth of Christ on this day. Don't you people know what Christmas is all about? It's all about wrapping paper, gift bags, parking lots, and discount prices!!!"

"What Christmas has its origins is all about" is a common theme in several pagan holidaysliterature and arts. The celebration known as Saturnalia included In the making and giving of small presents (saturnalia et sigillaricia). This animated holiday was observed over a series of days beginning on December 17 (classic A Charlie Brown Christmas, the birthday of Saturn) main character, Charlie Brown, is depressed because he believes Christmas is too religious, and ending on December 25 (wants to know what Christmas is really all about. At the birthday of Sol Invictusend, he finds out, when his friend makes a touching speech, the quoting from a Wal-Mart catalogue: "unconquered sun"). The combined festivals resulted '50% off on all holiday items!!!! Don't miss this once in an extended winter holiday seasona lifetime opportunity to SAVE, SAVE, SAVE!!!!!!!!!!!'. Business was postponed and even slaves feasted. There was drinking, gamblingThat's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown!" Charlie Brown and singinghis friends then go to a McDonald's together, and nudity was relatively commonto celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. It In actuality, the true meaning of Christmas was the "best birth of daysSanta Claus. Of course," according all the preachers and clergymen like to the poet Catullusbullshit people with all this biblical crap about Jesus and Christmas being related. Assholes...What do they know?

During the time [edit] Replacement with "Holiday" The card market changed to be more Generic in which Christianity was spreading throughout the Roman Empiretheir cards, another similar religion known celebrating "Holidays" now insteadThe Supreme Court has officially declared Christmas to be defunct as Mithraism was also gaining widespread acceptancewe all now celebrate 'Holiday'. The followers event is popular for celebrating the birth of Mithraism worshipped Mithras"Generic, a god of Persian originnameless savior and/or prophet, who was identified with Sol Invictus. The followers of Mithraism", consequently, adopted the birthday of Sol Invictus as well as the birthday glory of Mithras"Intelligent, all-powerful being. In 274 AD, due to " Holiday is one of the popularity of Mithraism, Emperor Aurelian designated December 25 as most popular celebrations in the festival of Sol InvictusUnited States today.

====Christian origins [edit] X-MasChristmas is also called X-mas by fans of holiday====the X-Men, who celebrate the day as "International X-Men Day". They believe that Jesus was in fact a superhero. The Bible confirms this, listing such superpowers as healing, foretelling the future, heat vision, underwater breathing, the ability to fly, super human strength and destroy evil with a wink of his eye and a thumbs up. Jewish and Islamic X-Men tend to believe that while Jesus was a hero, he was not a "super" hero.

The idea [edit] Is Christmas losing its Commercial origins?Many people are growing concerned that December 25 the true meaning of Christmas, buying things at a discount store and then eating and drinking until you throw up, is Jesusbeing forgotten in today' birthday was popularized s world. "I am greatly concerned by Sextus Julius Africanus in Chronographiai (221 AD)the amount of giving, an early reference book for Christians. This identification did not at first inspire feasting or celebration. In 245 ADcaring, the theologian [[Origen]] denounced the idea and honoring of celebrating the birthday of Jesus God that took place this Christmas season,"as if he were a king pharaoh.says Wal Mart chairperson Melville Cardboard, " Only sinnersAll this talk about Nativity, not saintsand loving those around you, celebrate their birthdays, Origen contended.and a season of joy? Have you people forgotten the meaning of Christmas?"

There were these Raspberry Christmas celebrations in Rome Trees are popular among the red-green colorblind[edit] Santa Claus: Democrat or Republican?Often depicted as early as 336 AD. December 25 was added an obese man wearing a tasteless red, ermine trimmed suit, Santa Claus is a self-employed Caucasian male who's been married to the calendar same woman for several centuries. It appears likely that he is a churchgoer, insofar as he is a Catholic saint and a feast day in 350 ADformer bishop. It has to be assumed here that Claus was released from his vows, or else he would not have been married.

The forty days before Christmas became This assessment is often rebutted by Democrats with Anne-McCaffery counter-analysis: Santa Claus has no children. High-achieving professionals without children trend Democratic. While the Clausian canon does not specifically address the "forty days issue of StSanta's children, numerous extra-canonical sources suggest that Claus did, in fact, reproduce. Martin," now AdventNumerous Christmas TV movie specials alone support this point.

Christmas Day itself was Santa is renowned for an aggressive adherence to a relatively minor holidaybinary naughty/nice list, although its prominence gradually increased after Charlemagne was crowned on Christmas Day in 800 ADwhich suggests an impatience for nuanced moral positions that betrays his Republican preferences. Santa's mere willingness to define individuals along a naughty/nice axis demonstrates his indifference to the philosophical stance of, say, The New York Times. And note that no canonical or extra-canonical Clausian text indicates that Santa ever attended college or, God forbid, graduate school.

Northern Europe was the last part to Christianize, and its pagan celebrations had a major influence on Christmas. Scandinavians Others still call Christmas Jul (Yule), originally the name of a twelve-day pre-Christian winter festivalbelieve that Mr. Logs were lit to honor ThorSanta is an obvious Communist, the god reincarnation of thunder, hence the "Yule log." In Germany, the equivalent holiday is called Mitwinternacht (mid-winter night). There are also twelve Rauhnächte (harsh or wild nights)Jesus Marx.

By the High Middle Ages, Christmas had become [edit] Who is this so prominent called Santa Claus and is he really watching us??Some believe that chroniclers routinely noted where various magnates "celebrated Christmas." King Richard II of England hosted Santa is a Christmas feast in 1377 at which twenty-eight oxen kind hearted fellow who brings joy to good little girls and three hundred sheep were eatenboys. The "Yule boar" was a common feature of medieval Christmas feasts. Caroling also became popularThink about it this way: If Santa is REALLY watching you all the time, and was originally a group of dancers who sang. The group was composed of a lead singer and a ring of dancers does that provided include when you're in the chorus. Various writers of bath or the time condemned caroling as lewd, largely due to overtones reminiscent of shower? And what about when little kids are changing clothes or sleeping in the traditions of Saturnalia and Yule). In England, gifts were exchanged on New Yearnude? Santa's Day, and there was special Christmas alea pervert.

====The Reformation and the 1800s====[edit] See Also During the Reformation, Protestants condemned Christmas celebration as "trappings of popery" and the "rags of the Beast". The Catholic Church responded by promoting the festival in a more religiously oriented form. When a Puritan parliament triumphed over the King, Charles I of England (1644), Christmas was officially banned (1647). ProAnti-Christmas rioting broke out in several cities. For several weeks, Canterbury was controlled by the rioters, who decorated doorways with holly and shouted royalist slogans. The Restoration (1660) ended the ban, but Christmas celebration was still disapproved of by the Anglican clergy. By the 1820s, sectarian tension had eased and British writers began to worry that Christmas was dying out. They imagined Tudor Christmas as a time of heartfelt celebration, and efforts were made to revive the holiday. The book A Christmas Carol (1843) by Charles Dickens played a major role in reinventing Christmas as a holiday emphasizing family, goodwill, and compassion.  The Puritans of New England disapproved of Christmas and celebration was outlawed in Boston (1659-81). Meanwhile, Virginia and New York celebrated freely. Christmas fell out of favor in the U.S. after the American Revolution, when it was considered an "English custom". Interest was revived by several short stories by Washington Irving in The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon (1819) and by "Old Christmas" (1850) which depict harmonous warm-hearted holiday traditions Irving claimed to have observed in England. Although some argue that Irving invented the traditions he describes, they were imitated by his American readers. German immigrants and the homecomings of the Civil War helped promote the holiday. Christmas was declared a federal holiday in the U.S. in 1870. Irving writes of Saint Nicholas "riding over the tops of the trees, in that selfsame waggon wherein he brings his yearly presents to children." The connection between Santa Claus and Christmas was popularized by the poem "A Visit from Saint Nicholas" (1822) by Clement Clarke Moore, which depicts Santa driving a sleigh pulled by reindeer and distributing gifts to children. His image was created by German-American cartoonist Thomas Nast (1840-1902), who drew a new image annually beginning in 1863. By the 1880s, Nast's Santa had evolved into the form we now recognize. The image was standardized by advertisers in the 1920s. ====Modern times==== In the midst of World War I, there was a Christmas truce between German and British troops in France (1914). Soldiers on both sides spontaneously began to sing Christmas carols and stopped fighting. The truce began on Christmas Day and continued for some time afterward. There was even a soccer game between the trench lines in which Germany's 133rd Royal Saxon Regiment is said to have bested Britain's Seaforth Highlanders 3-2. In modern times, the United States has experienced some controversy over the nature of Christmas, and whether it is a religious or a secular holiday. Because the US government recognizes Christmas as an official holiday, some have thought that this violates separation of church and state. This has been brought to trial several times, including Lynch v. Donnelly (1984) and Ganulin v. United States (1999). On December 6, 1999, the verdict for Ganulin v. United States (1999). declared that "the establishment of Christmas Day as a legal public holiday does not violate the Establishment Clause because it has a valid secular purpose." This decision was appealed, and upheld by the Supreme Court on December 19, 2000.carol Xmas day More recently, some Christians have protested against what is seen as a secularization of Christmas, leading some to believe that the holiday is under attack from a general secular trend or from persons and/or organizations with a deliberate or unconscious anti-Christian agenda.Reindeer Sintu cloven ===[[Christmas carols]]===Santaism Christmas carols are hymns about Christmas and Frosty the birth of Christ ===Chirstmas church services=== Many churches hold a midnight church service on Christmas eve. ==Quotes== ==Links==* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas Wikipedia - Christmas]Snowman * [http://docs.google.com/View?docid=ddn4v5jr_358g73pjjk4 Sermon - The Anticipation of Christmas]Terrorism  {{returnto}} [[Christian Calendar]]Krismas