Difference between revisions of "Essence of Christianity"

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==A snarky summary of the Bible==
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{{quote | text={{Bible verse|1 John|4|10|lang=WEB}}  [[1 John 4:10]]}}
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{{Infobox_Contents |
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  topic_name = Essence of Christianity
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[[Image:Cross sunrise.jpg|thumb|center|The [[cross]] representing a [[God]] who has redeemed us is central to [[Christianity]].]] |
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  subtopics = [[God]], [[Jesus]]
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* [[Christian]]
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* [[Becoming a Christian]], [[Grace]]
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* [[Living as a Christian]], [[Love]], [[Worship]]  |
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  opinion_pieces = {{short_opinions}}
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* [[Salvation (justforcatholics.org)]]
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* [[How to be saved (Compass)]]
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* [[Essential Christian doctrines (anon)]] |
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}}
  
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''The Bible'' is the most popular fantasy novel ever written. The first main character is a stuttering, orphaned, Jewish murderer named Moses, who was raised by the Egyptian royalty.  He leads a resistance and eventually escapes Egypt with his people, and then wanders around the desert for a while, and after he dies his people go on to create Israel without him. He told people that he followed a god that was their god now, and they had to follow him or else. This god was so special because Moses said he created the Earth some two thousand years before, over a seven day period. Then his god put people on the earth, starting with a guy, then eventually giving him a wife. They [[Fun:Original sin|ate a fruit]] when Moses' god told them not to, so he decided they should suffer and die by being kicked out of the paradise he made for them.  Since there was no more paradise, this made carnivorous animals start to eat other animals, all because of us.<ref>  Now godless [[Paleontology|paleontologists]] imagine they've found evidence of carnivorous animals eating other animals before humans existed. That shows how ignorant and evil paleontologists are. They contradict the Bible.  Wait a moment.  The Bible's fantasy fiction.  So paleontologists aren't evil after all.  
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[[Christianity]] is about [[God]] reaching out his hand in friendship to mankind. [[Christian]]s believe that the everything within the universe was [[creation|created]] by God. God is a personal being, and by some mystery that we cannot understand, he is three, yet one: [[God the Father|Father]], [[Jesus|Son]] and [[Holy Spirit|Spirit]]. He created people in his image, to [[love]] him. Yet every person has rebelled against God. But instead of turning his back on us, God the Son, became a man, Jesus, and lived among us, dying because of us - the death that we should have died. [[Death of Jesus|Jesus was crucified]] on a cross, but [[Resurrection of Jesus|he rose from the dead]], and now calls us to trust him, to love him and to [[repent]] of our rebellion. If we do this, then our relationship with God becomes restored, and God the Spirit lives within us, assuring us of the promise of everlasting life.
  
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Vegetarians are so ashamed of this, that they stopped eating other animals.</ref>  The only people worth talking about at this point were inbred from this first couple.  Later, an alcoholic named Noah built a boat because Moses' god told him to.  Then that god told him to collect two each of the billions of species on Earth.  Once all the species were collected, that god then drowned everything and everyone else because they pissed him off.  Then Noah and his wife got down to another round of inbreeding, and all modern humans are inbred cousins through them.  Within a few more thousand years all the different races of humanity had diverged, and all the plants, animals, and insects, etc. had repopulated the earth, bringing us back to the main plot line.  A bunch of crappy stuff happens to the Jews, until a new main character is introduced.
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The good news of Jesus, or the [[gospel]], is summarized in [[1 Corinthians 15]]. This passage is a simple statement that gives a portrait of what the essence of Christianity is - forgiveness through Jesus Christ.
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: ''{{Bible verse|1 Corinthians|15|3|lang=WEB}}''
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: ''{{Bible verse|1 Corinthians|15|4|lang=WEB}}''
  
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The new character is called [[Fun:Jesus|Jesus]], whose mother was a virgin, and who is supposed to be his own dad (no, really!).  He came along and told people that they should believe in him, because he was the only way into this awesome new paradise in Heaven, where animals don't eat each other any more.<ref>Vegetarians rejoice!</ref>  He proved all this, and that he wasn't faking, by doing magic tricks for any people who would stop and listen to him.  Then some hateful Jews came along and got him killed, because they thought his teachings were hate-speech, and had to be destroyed.  Then he goes on to an underworld full of pain and suffering.  However, a few days later he crawled back out, and this now-zombie Jesus rolled away a rock and scared two poor innocent women, then joined the poor saps he had tricked, and had them poke fingers in him, and told spooky stories about the afterlife.  He reiterated that everyone had to believe in him or they wouldn't make it to the happy afterlife.  After this, Jesus crawls up to heaven, and his poor saps are left on Earth without him, just waiting for a new main character to lead the way.
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===[[Jesus]]===
  
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===Previous snarky summary===
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Jesus Christ is the central figure that separates [[Christianity]] from other religions. Christians believe that he is both [[God]] and a man; that he created the world and mankind, and that he is alive today. He was born around the 4 BC and grew up in Judea (current day Palestine) where he taught about God's [[love]] and the [[repentance]] of [[sin]].  
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Perhaps the most popular fantasy novel ever written.  Wait a moment --  Moslems think the [[Koran]] is better!  Anyway, the main character, Jesus (a zombie who was his own father) was born of a virgin. He came to tell mankind that they should believe in  him or he will punish them for eternity in hell ( a dark hot place underground).  To prove that he is not just faking he did magic tricks for the people who would listen to his speeches.  He told people that the earth was create 8 thousand years ago, over a seven day period.  He put two people Adam and Eve on earth.  They ate an apple when he told them not to, so he decided they should suffer and die by being kicked out of paradise.  All of mankind is their inbred descendants.  Later an alcoholic named Moses built a boat because God told him to.  God then told him to collect two of the billions of species on earth in just a few days.  Once all the species were collected, God drowned everything, and everyone else because they pissed him off.  Then Moses and his wife got down to the inbreeding.  Within a few more thousand years all the different races of humanity had diverged, and all the plants animals, insects etc. had repopulated the earth.  Then some filthy Jews escaped Egypt and wondered around the desert for a while before making Israel. Jesus was born the filthy Jews killed him, he went to hell and laughed at all the people that were sent there came back to life as zombie, and told everyone spooky stories about hell. Then he went to heaven a (happy place up in the sky) the end.
 
  
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==References and notes==
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===[[Becoming a Christian]]===
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<references/>
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To become a [[Christian]], a person must believe in his heart and confesses that [[Jesus Christ]] is [[Lord]]. When he accepts the fact that he has disobeyed [[God]], but also accepts Jesus' death on the cross as punishment for his [[sin]]s, that person has become a Christian. [[Ephesians 1:7]] in the [[New Testament]] shows that forgiveness of sins are through Jesus
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: ''{{Bible verse|Ephesians|1|7|lang=WEB}}''
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There are many biblical passages that show that belief, or faith, in Jesus Christ is what brings life to people. Faith in Jesus is ultimately what makes a person a Christian. Perhaps the most famous of these verses is [[John 3:16]]
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: ''{{Bible verse|John|3|16|lang=WEB}}''
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===[[Living as a Christian]]===
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When we become a [[Christian]], we are called to live for [[God]] in every aspect of our lives. He brings us into a relationship of [[love]] with him and with other Christians and calls us to live for him fully, obeying him and trusting in him completely.
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==Quotes==
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==Links==
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{{returnto}} [[Christianity]]

Revision as of 05:47, 21 September 2008

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son as the atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10
Essence of Christianity
The cross representing a God who has redeemed us is central to Christianity.
RELATED TOPICS
SERMONS, ESSAYS AND OPINIONS
CONTENTS

Christianity is about God reaching out his hand in friendship to mankind. Christians believe that the everything within the universe was created by God. God is a personal being, and by some mystery that we cannot understand, he is three, yet one: Father, Son and Spirit. He created people in his image, to love him. Yet every person has rebelled against God. But instead of turning his back on us, God the Son, became a man, Jesus, and lived among us, dying because of us - the death that we should have died. Jesus was crucified on a cross, but he rose from the dead, and now calls us to trust him, to love him and to repent of our rebellion. If we do this, then our relationship with God becomes restored, and God the Spirit lives within us, assuring us of the promise of everlasting life.

The good news of Jesus, or the gospel, is summarized in 1 Corinthians 15. This passage is a simple statement that gives a portrait of what the essence of Christianity is - forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures,
that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures,

Jesus

Jesus Christ is the central figure that separates Christianity from other religions. Christians believe that he is both God and a man; that he created the world and mankind, and that he is alive today. He was born around the 4 BC and grew up in Judea (current day Palestine) where he taught about God's love and the repentance of sin.

Becoming a Christian

To become a Christian, a person must believe in his heart and confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord. When he accepts the fact that he has disobeyed God, but also accepts Jesus' death on the cross as punishment for his sins, that person has become a Christian. Ephesians 1:7 in the New Testament shows that forgiveness of sins are through Jesus

in whom we have our redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,

There are many biblical passages that show that belief, or faith, in Jesus Christ is what brings life to people. Faith in Jesus is ultimately what makes a person a Christian. Perhaps the most famous of these verses is John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

Living as a Christian

When we become a Christian, we are called to live for God in every aspect of our lives. He brings us into a relationship of love with him and with other Christians and calls us to live for him fully, obeying him and trusting in him completely.

Quotes

Links

Return to Christianity

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