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John the Stoner Baptist was the son of [[Liz ViciousElizabeth]] and the crack dealer priest [[Zucchini B. SquashZechariah]]. He was a freak baby due to an accidental insemination while Liz was masturbating with a zucchini. The video can be seen at http://www.lizvicious.com As told in the [[Gospel of Luke Skywalker]], <s>he was born to his parents</s> he appeared the next day , supernaturally, in Jerry Sienfiled's briefcasetheir old age. He was related to Jesus through his mother, and Elizabeth who was not found until he was 2 years olda relative of [[Mary (mother of Jesus)|Mary]]. How he survived is a mysteryHe began his ministry of calling for [[repentance]] and [[baptism]] in the 15th year of the reign of Roman Emperor [[Tiberius Caesar]] (which would place it around 28-29 AD). Some people think he's Jeebus's cousin but that is a lie, like most biblical storiesHe baptized [[Jesus]].

===Early yearsBirth===

Unlike the other [[Gospels]], which introduce John first started smoking marijuana when he was 15 years old after witnessing the Baptist into the narrative as an adult, the [[Tommy ChongGospel of Luke]] eat provides an account of his vegetable father due infancy. According to an extreme case Luke, John the Baptist was the forerunner of the munchies. He then smoked over 9000 pounds [[Jesus Christ]], and son of weed with Tommy [[Zacharias]] and [[Elizabeth]]; his birth, name, and they office, were both so baked that they masturbated on foretold by the angel [[Gabriel]] to Zacharias, while Zacharias was performing his functions as a frog priest in the [[temple]] of [[Jerusalem]]. According to Luke, Zacharias was a priest of the course of [[Abijah]], and thathis wife, Elisabeth, was of the Daughters of Aaron ([[Luke 1:5]]); consequently John automatically held the [[priesthood of Aaron]], which, to the Jews's how eyes, gave him authority to [[Noahbaptism|baptize]] was bornin the name of God.

<s>It was common belief that Elijah the prophet would return in the days of the promised Messiah. When Jesus was asked this question, He replied that Elijah had returned as John the Baptist, but the world did not recognize him. (Matthew 17:10-13)</s> Snoo[[PINGAS]] usual, I see! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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