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For Benedict's solution, see __TOC__{{topics}}* [[Popes Index]]* [[Benedict's solutionPeter and the Papacy]]* {{news}}** [[Catholic World Youth Day 2005: One million attend open----air mass with Pope]]** [[Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger selected as the new Pope (April 19)]]** [[The pope undergoes a tracheotomy due to worsening respiratory failure secondary to the "flu"]]** [[Pope John Paul II dies (April 2, 2005)]]

The '''Pope'' (or as is the head of [[Roman Catholicism|Roman Catholic Church]] and [[Eastern Catholic Churches]]. In addition to this spiritual role, the French call him Le Pope) The Pope is selected from a collection of really ancient members also head of the clergyindependent, based on his ability to sexually restrain himself in the presence sovereign [[Vatican City|State of altar boys, which is why there can be only one at any given time. Over the yearsVatican City]], a city-state entirely surrounded by the number city of Papal candidates has been dropping due Rome. Prior to abstinence from procreation1870, proving that evolution does exist and that God doesnthe Pope't.{{wikipedia}}Papal candidates typically wear red capes and are capable s temporal authority extended over a large area of subsonic flightcentral [[Italy]], they are also able to destroy condoms using a territory formally known as the "Patrimony of St Peter" under the power terms of sight alone. Papal candidates often take off at approximately 6:00AM every morning to visit God and find out what he's the [[Donation of Constantine]], but more familiar as the [[Brian Peppers|bitching about this timePapal States]]. Traffic control The office of the Pope is handled by angel's who are deemed unfit to serve in informally called the Angel Forces due to their alcoholism [[Papacy]] and sex-offender status. Upon arriving at formally called the Pontificate; his ecclesiastical jurisdiction is called the [[New_York|Heaven's Gate 16Holy See]], Papal candidates are directed to a waiting line(''Sancta Sedes''). Due Catholics worldwide consider each pope to long wait times and a 2:00PM closing time (standard across all of Heavenbe [[Jesus]]'s government services), Papal candidates never find out what God wants, and they make representative on [[Ten Commandments|shitEarth]] up instead. The current Pope is Benedict XVI.

The iPope (as there can only be one of them) stands anywhere from four An antipope is a person who claims the Pontificate without being canonically and properly elected to eight feet tallit. The iPope has six pairs existence of translucent wings, and eyes an antipope is usually due either to doctrinal controversy within the size of dinner plates (eight inches across exactly). The ipope has pincers on its bellyChurch, and can use it's stomach-mouth or to subsume prey, confusion as any actual food cannot go into to who is the legitimate Pope at the false mouth which it createstime.

In recent years, following the implosion The heads of the western world and [[Mushroom KingdomCoptic Church]] after the inauguration of George Bush, the Pope switched sides and has recently found part time employment as the Grand Ayatollah of Iran. The current pope is former soul legend [[Jackie WilsonEastern Orthodox Church of Alexandria]] (weekends only between 9am-5pm). At all other times the Vatican displays the humorous sign are also called "Gone fishingPopes" for historical reasons, with the helpful advice that in cases former being called "'''Coptic Pope'''" or "'''Pope of emergency one should Alexandria'''"Destroy all records and the latter called "'''Pope and Patriarch of paedophileAlexandria and All Africa's stored with ''"; the FBIparallel construction "'''Pope of Rome'''"is uncommon but occasionally used.

==Papacity=Word origins===The common factor in all kinds of papacities is the sense of [[autosufficiency]], implying that the definition of '''pope''' is the one uplifting the sense of autosufficiency, f.ex. through silently repeating: ''I'm the Best, because only I think like me''. <ref>'''nota male:''' not the '''beast''' – that would be totally misleading!</ref> The concept of papacity is subdivided into at least two subconcepts, namely the [[Christian]] papacity, and the [[Discordian]] papacity, then ignoring the so trivially obvious concepts of [[major popes]] like the ones on the political scene, and [[minor popes]] that everybody have experienced f.ex. in their work as obstacles to real achievements. The discordian papacity concept is discussed more in detail in the article of [[Discordia]], and major and minor popes under their respective article – this article is about the Christian pope, AKA the iPope.

===Environment===The iPope lives word "Pope" is derived from the Greek word ''pappas'' ("father") and was originally used in an affectionate sense of any priest or bishop (in a dimension only partially connected with this world, known the exact same way that modern priests are addressed as the Vatican"Father"). This land is created by In the iPope4th and 5th centuries, ''pappas'' (Latinized as are all "creatures" that live there. The iPope acts like ''papa'', a spider form still preserved in this senseSpanish and Portuguese was still frequently used of any bishop in the West, casting although it's web out through gradually came to be increasingly restricted to its modern, exclusive use by the Bishop of Rome. In the world for creatures which East, especially in Greece and Russia, priests are still referred to feed onas ''pappas''.[[Image:Pope_looks_like_palpatine_02.jpg|left|thumb|134px|he played that part as emperor]]

==Pope As early as the third century, the Bishop of Alexandria exercised a high degree of central control of suffragan Egyptian bishops, in Deanism==a manner consciously similar to the jurisdiction of the Bishop of Rome; the Alexandrian archbishop was given precedence immediately after the Roman pontiff by the [[Image:Pope_Kilpatrickus.jpg|thumb|Pope Dean, leader and founder Council of Deanism.Nicea]]The , and adopted the title "Pope in Deanism is a serious Pope. Haof Alexandria, just kidding! The " which still forms an integral part of the titles of the Greek Orthodox "Pope and Patriarch of Deanism is always Alexandria and All Africa" and of the Coptic "Pope Dean (something). The current Pope is Pope Dean Kilpatrickus who will probably die around 2300AD (he may be considered to be a Super-Pope, see below). He is sometimes seen watching [[Have I Got News For You]]of Alexandria and of the See of Saint Mark the Apostle."

===The title "Pope: In a nutshell===" is an informal one; the formal title of the Pope is "Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, [[Image:PalpatineBenny.jpg|thumb|145pxApostolic Succession|The current iPope, Benedict MMXVISuccessor]][[Image:ratze.jpg|thumb|145px|Benedict's Predecessor as iPopeof the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Patriarch of the West, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of the Vatican City, Joe Ratze IIServant of the Servants of God, as depicted on a catholic PR poster " although this is rarely seen or used in a recent campaign which has picked out full (by comparison, the great protestant-catholic church war in formal title of the 16th century as a central theme]][[Image:pope-phaseolus-XIX.jpg|thumb|145px|Orthodox Pope Phaseolus XIX after and Patriarch of Alexandria is "Successor of Saint Mark the coronation]]The iPope was invented by a man who like to have Halloween all Apostle, Shepherd of Shepherds, Father of Fathers, Supreme Pontiff of All Metropolitans and Bishops, Judge of the time World, and Beloved of Christ", often called God. The iPope the "Ecumenical Judge"; the Coptic Pope is also one styled "Pope and Patriarch of the See of Alexandria and of All the Predication of the few people who don't have good christian moral valuesEvangelist St.iPope DJ David Tennant II OMark").B.E In canon law he is the current pope, aka Michael Brennan. Sirrah!!!!! '''The iPope''', or referred to as the French would say, "Roman Pontiff" (''Pontifex Romanus'L'). The iPopePope is styled "Your Holiness" (''Sanctitas Vostra'', ) and is often frequently referred to as '''[["the Holy Father Ted]]''' and owns half of Zimbabwe. He is, however, unaccountable for it's peoples' safety. Muhammad Ali often takes advantage of this fact by taking a Sunday drive through the Zimbabwean plains, running down all those who stand in his way. When asked for comment on his heinous acts at a recent press conference, The iPope had this to say:"

The Pope's signature is usually in the format "''NN. PP. x''" (''e.g.'', [[Pope Paul VI]] signed his name as "Paulus PP. VI"I pity the fool), who dare live and his name is frequently accompanied in my constituencyinscriptions by the abbreviation "Pont. Max." or "P.M." (This abbreviation of the ancient title ''Pontifex Maximus'', literally "Greatest Bridge-maker", but usually translated "Supreme Pontiff"). The signature of Papal bulls is customarily ''NN. Episcopus Ecclesia Catholicae'' ("NN. Bishop of the Catholic Church"), while the heading is ''NN. Episcopus Servus Servorum Dei'' ("NN. Bishop and Servant of the Servants of God"), the believed cause latter title dating to the time of death for [[John LennonPope Gregory I]]''the Great''. Other titles used in some official capacity include ''Summus Pontifex'' ("Highest Pontiff"), ''Sanctissimus Pater'' and ''Beatissimus Pater'' ("Most Holy Father" and "Most Blessed Father"), ''Sanctissimus Dominus Noster'' ("Our Most Holy Lord"), and, in the [[Middle Ages|Mediaeval period]], ''Dominus Apostolicus'' ("Apostolic Lord").

The word '''Catholic''Pope' s official residence is actually the Palace of the Vatican, and he also possesses a derivative summer palace at Castel Gandolfo (believed to be situated on the site of '''cat lick''' ithe ancient city-state Alba Longa).eHistorically the official residence of the Pope was the Lateran Palace, donated by the Roman Emperor Constantinus I. 'to lick a cat'. This The former Papal summer palace, the Quirinal Palace, has led many to speculate that subsequently been the official residence of the pope is addicted to [[kitten huffing]], though he is on Kings of Italy and Presidents of the record as saying he "never inhaledItalian Republic."

Contrary to popular belief, it is the Pope's ecclesiastical jurisdiction (the Holy See) and not his secular jurisdiction (Vatican City) which conducts international relations; for hundreds of years, the Pope's court (the Roman Curia) has functioned as the government of the Catholic Church. The name "Holy See" (also "Apostolic See") is in ecclesiastical terminology the ordinary jurisdiction of the Bishop of Rome (including the Roman Curia); the Pope's various honours, powers, and privileges within the Catholic Church and the international community derive from his Episcopate of Rome in lineal succession from the Apostle St. Peter (see Apostolic Succession). Consequently Rome has traditionally occupied a central position in the Catholic Church, although this is not necessarily so. The iPope''' Pope derives his Pontificate from being Bishop of Rome but is not obligated to reside in Rome; according to the Latin formula ubi Papa, ibi Curia, wherever the Pope resides is the central government of the Church, provided that the Pope is 299 years Bishop of ageRome. As such, between 1309 and 1378 the Popes resided not in Rome but in Avignon, with a standard deviation period often called the Babylonian Captivity in allusion to the Biblical exile of 8.3Israel (see Avignon Papacy).

'''The iPope''' is not human and chooses his next body to assimilate when his current one dies. He always chooses old incontinent men for easy assimilation through the bowel area. When between bodies the Pope looks something like a cross between a badger and a Commodore 64.<blockquote>[[Image:40782459_pope_body_ap.....jpg|thumb|left|145px|The Pope conversing with his Grand Master [[Sauron]]]]'''The iPope''' steals baby's souls and feeds them to [[God]]. This is also known as "cot death".''' The iPope ''' is the overlord and master of The V.A.T (the ''verily astronomical tax''), the largest form of tax on Earth. In the late 1920s he used the awesome power of the [[Vatican]] City, which sports a high 70% tax (spent primarily on silencing outraged shopkeepers) to write his [[grocery list]] on the [[sun]]. With this achievement, he won the rank of [[pope]]. However, this caused a chain reaction, the result of which is that the sun will become a volleyball in [[2037]] as opposed to millions or billions of years from now. There is great debate over whether this is a [[good thing]] or a [[bad thing]]. He has also been known to shoot lasers from his fingertips (which consequently has left him without fingerprints), eyes, and sometimes his large laser cannon that is carried by his pet bear, Popo.Legendary [[racism|racist]] and Irishman '''the iPope''' is proud to be a bigoted backwards hypocrite. Born in 1743 in Westphalenstrassehaussenburgsteinschnellschnellkartoffelkopf, '''the Pope''' was a founding member of Germany's National Socialist Party, the NSDAP or Nazi Party for short. His lifelong [[hatred]] for [[Jew|Jews]] and [[blacks]] led him inevitably to the [[Catholic]] Church where he has made it his mission to spread lies to the ignorant and misery to the poor.[[Image:PopeGlasses.jpg|thumb|145px|"I see you, Blessed are you sweaty heathen"]]His favourite hobbies include sitting on his big throne there, wearing big hats, and standing on balconies. He particularly enjoys the irony that as a notorious antiSimon Bar-Semite, he has far more fabulous wealth than he could ever count in the few remaining years of his life. It also pleases him that millions of black Catholics die in absolute poverty every year while he shits in a solid gold crapper. to celebrate, he has christened their day of defeat [[I Have AIDS, You Have AIDS Day]]. [[Image:Darth_Benedict.jpg|thumb|180px|The face of power, unlimited powerJona!]] He cites getting his mitre signed by [[Mick McCarthy]] when he was permitted to meet the Irish team during [[Italia '90]] as his proudest moment. Amongst his many enemies are numbered [[Muhammad]] (a piece be upon him), [[Binyamin Netanyahu]], [[Confucius]], [[George W. Bush]], [[Buddha|Siddhartha Gautama]], [[Auntie Poulet]], [[Ian Paisley|The Rt. Hon. Rev. Dr. Ian Paisley M.P.]], and [[The Reverend Dr. Sun Myung Moon]]. However, all of his most embarrassing defeats have come at the hands of [[The Queen]] who just cannot help but son '''The Pope''' all over the world. Many have sought to infiltrate the Vatican City but all have been turned back as it is guarded by an elite squad of [[Clinjas]], and not in fact (as is common belief) by [[Canadians]]. The Pope fears only one thing, and that is an auto accident with with the [[Anti-Pope]].If the pope and the Anti-Pope meet, the result will be the total annihilation of both, producing a strong burst of spaghetti noodles. The theory that such a meeting was responsible for the explosion in Tunguska, Siberia in 1908 can safely be dismissed, however.So far CERN has only been able to create very small Anti-Popes (less than 4.71 Ångström tall, including the funny hat). massive erection In [[1984]] The Pope decreed the [[Four Neon Virtues]]. The Pope shows no remorse, because he is also the immortal love child of [[King Kong]] and [[Elvis]]. The Pope is over 10 feet tall. He can inhale the vacuum of [[space]] with no problem, For flesh and blood has done so on several occasions, although his (now archived) mom did not approve. His [[laser beam]] eyes can puncture a [[man]]'s [[heart]] from 25 meters, and his [[laser feet]] can penetrate a [[woman]]'s pancreas from 50. His hands are fully interchangeable with any [[weapon]]ry he comes across. He is cold revealed this to the touch.[[Image:PopeRock.jpg|thumb|145px|left|Do ya know where the fuck you aaaaaaaaaaaaare!!!]]Do not piss this man off. You will regret it. If you do upset him, he will [[excommunicate]] you. This is quite possibly the worst thing that can happen to a person. Ever. Seriously. The Pope's favorite saying (pointing fingers), "Don't hate anyone, but I hate [[Dan Brown]]". (See also [[U.S. v. Pope (2049)]]) The Pope requires that everyone be bored once per week, in his honour, on the last day of the week. This is usually achieved using a medieval "mild" torture device entitled [[Mass]]. [[Mass]] (male), has the capability to bore anyone within 30 seconds of conversation, and cause suicide within 60. Anyone failing to receive at least 40 seconds of [[Mass]] per week, will be archived, as will anyone convinced that [[Monday]] is not the start of the week.  The most ferocious weapon deployed by the Pope is the [[Vatican Boys Punishment Squad]] who follow his every ferocious papal command. The current Pope My Father Who is [[Pope Pontificem]], which loosely translates into Pope of all Popes, at 15 years old, his first act as Pope was to change the Vatican's name into the much more [[phat]] [[the Vatican|The Popes' Peeps]]. The Pope is also known for being the owner of the [[#The Popemobile|Pope Mobile]]. '''The Popes Magical Ring''' the most sought after piece of the popes wardrobe. "The Magical" ring is what gives the pope his magical powers; IE. His Laser Beam Eyes, and His ability to Fly. If stolen the pope becomes a mortal being once again and who ever posses the Magical "Pope Ring" inherits his magical abilities. The lengthy process to pick the new pope is actually a death match for the Ring, and who ever comes out the winner becomes the new Pope. However at some point the Pope must travel to Mordor, accompanied by his best friend, [[Gordon Brown]], and drop the ring into the fires of Mt. Snowdon, before the evil [[#Devil|Lord Devil]] can get it. The pressure of bearing such a powerful ring may turn the Pope into a frail old man. Wait a minute... ==Biography==The Pope Benedict "Benny" XVI (pronounced 'Ziv-vy') was born on March 16. 1942 and died during a gangster drive-by shooting in August 1988Heaven. The tragic murder is by many thought to be fake and that The Pope XVII is in fact alive and well. There are many people who have claimed seeing The Pope in company with such greats as; [[Tupac]],[[The Side Street Doormats]] [[Elvis Presley]], [[Michael Jackson]] and [[Ed McDaniel]] at numerous locations [[around]] and near to Shabaaz Liqiuor, Rumor has it that the man himself is still manning the holy bong, along with the righteous cheetos and saintly reruns of "Fat Albert takes one for the team".[[Image:NiggaPlease.jpg |thumb|right|It's hard out there for a pope.]]The Pope lives on a planet for as long as possible, stealing away the most vital resources (The chiva)... It combined the DNA it found here with its own, and gave birth to those creatures up on Death Peak. Eventually the young must migrate to other planets... to repeat the cycle... It will continue forever. ==Things the pope enjoys== [[Image:heavy metal pope II.psd.jpg|thumb|145px|The Pope rocks out his favourite Pantera hit [[Cowboys from Hell]]"]]* Changing his name* Wearing J-String* Watching Desperate Housewives (not the TV show, the real thing!!)* Dissecting cats, dogs, horses and other animals.* Eating young children (with the help of Michel Jack's son)* Participating in the World Wrestling Championship* Drinking bottles of Pepto-Bismol * Posing for PLAYGAY* Knocking on people's doors then running away* Playing with fire* Sucking 40's at 48 speed* Drawing on Oompa Loompas' faces while they sleep* Not wearing underwear while he preaches* [[Kitten Huffing]]* Hoarding all of the TMX (Tickle Me Extreme) Elmos and cuddling with them at night* Sucking on toes* Spooning* Castrating your gymnasium* Undressing Ken Dolls in his room when he's alone* [[Bacterial vaginosis]]* Personal freedom from sin* Looking at edited pics of his face* Amazing Grace* [[Mormons]]* Pwning sum n00bz, lololol. [[ROFLcopter]]!* Lighting bag's of flaming poo on the doorsteps of other Religious Leaders.* Double Penetration Porn* The Television X 10-minute preview* Smoking PCP* His Penis hat* Prostitutes!* Doing [[Your mom]]* LOUD Black Metal music e.g. [[Slayer]], [[Behemoth]], [[Children of Bodom]], [[Gorgoroth]] etc* Rockin' out to Pantera all day and all night* Miami Vice* sex scandals* Partying with Wayne and Garth* Riding on the train without a valid ticket and not getting caught by the ticket inspector* Doing donuts in the Popemobile* Eating donuts in the Popemobile* PWNING your mom in the Popemobile* Eating hookers in the Popemobile* Doing hookers who are eating donuts in the Popemobile* Doing [[Your mom]] in the Popemobile* Eating Donuts shaped like hookers doing [[Your mom]] in the Popemobile* Taking his Popemobile in for an M.O.T.* The number 666* Sleeping in on a Sunday morning* Seven ants. No more, no less.* Doing [[my ex-wife]]* Pushing Little Children With His Fully Automatic* He likes to push the weak around* Watching the lawn burn* His iPope[[Image:Popee4y,.psd.jpg|thumb|right|145px|A clearly drunken Pope escapes from his personal Jet, The SkyPope IV, after an extended communion session]]* Piña Colada* Getting caught in the rain* The company of [[Michael Jackson]] at night* Beer, tequila, coke and many, many hooker nuns* Pwning Mexicans in the Popemobile* Sharing Jesus-juice with little boys* Drinking Jesus-Juice* Getting drunk by drinking wine out of the Holy Grail* Playa' hating on [[god]]*[[Square Dancing]]* The Electric Slide* Following the hawk* Playing Holy Craps* Having naked pillow fights with nuns* Having naked pillow fights with the priests* Rubbing holy oil over himself and rolling in the grass* Peeing in the holy water* Playing hide and seek in the confession boxes* Egging people while he is driving in the pope mobile* Taking a bath in the holy water* Being a hooker's "savior"* Encouraging young children to cut themselves in the shape of the cross* Getting killed by that butt ugly guy from "Sin City"* Drinking all the holy wine, then using the font as a bidet.* Congregating with [http://popesminions.ytmnd.com/ his minions]* Doing Altar boys* Teabagging* Playing "Psychobilly Freakout" on Guitar Hero 2* Ten second naps while preaching.* The Penis Song.* Crumpin' ==Infallibility==The Pope is widely held to be infallible. This caused a minor [[schism]] in the [[church]] when, in 1307, he stated "And I am not the Pope." Approximately 3tell you,000,021 people have an active wish to do the same thing, that is, to not be the Pope. 2,897,301 of them would first inform a [[Cardinal]] that he was, in fact a [[superhuman]].  Other pope superpowers are ubiquity, [[telepathy]], inflammability and rockabilly. Teaching of the pope which are not infallible you are known as "papal bull". The Pope himself has placed the following self-portrait here here so that all can see his omniscient, omnivorous, omnipotent, omni-hatchback greatness in its purest, most idealized form: Peter '''--Image missing--'''<br>The image could not be found.<br>''There was a problem displaying the image. The person who attempted to place the image failed to do so. One might say he or she was fallible.''"having naked pillow fights with nuns(" The Pope can also fly, eat a live mnkey whole, run faster then a locamotive. ==The sacred ceremony of La Bella Notte==[[Image:starwarspope.jpg|left]]It is also believed that the Pope reproduces every 2 years [[asexually]] in a special ceremony known as Rock"La Bella Notte" (The Beautiful Nightderived from Greek), in which a [[Fetus|foetus]]-like entity hatches and bursts violently from a special pouch deep within the Pope's abdomen, and then is carefully placed by cardinals in a customised hyperbaric chamber deep within a metal vat/can entitled the [[Vatican]], to be raised on a diet of heathen blood. It is only after full maturity of the foetus has occured that it has gained the complete physical similarity of the Parent pope. The [[Vatican]] is then opened using a [[Holy can opener]]. It is then that the Child Pope is permitted to roam the corridors of [[VAT City]] for a single night in a blood-thirsty lust to hunt down and consume the entrails of the Parent Pope in order to seize power of the [[Vatican]] (a ceremony known as "La Notte Sanguinante", a.k.a The Bloody Night), and rule for 2 years until the process is repeated again, whereupon the current Pope is once again devoured by its own child. ==The Sausageness of the Papacy==Famous [[conspiracy]] theorist [[Tanstaafl]] theorises that there is no Pope, and hasn't been since [[1987]], when aliens, working with the [[Illuminati]] and the trilateral [[Bildenberg|Bildenbergers]], replaced the Pope with a large smoked [[sausage]] with hands (to wave to the crowds). To date, this [[theory]] is accepted only by [[Rocket Scientists]] from the [[Nebraska]] area and all Canadians. ==The Chickeness of the Papacy==Many eyewitnesses have stated that the Pope is in fact a chicken. It is not known why the church has elected to go for a small bird as their earthly leader. What is known is that the cardinals do their best to hide the true nature of the Pope with large covering of clothes. In past times, all popes were plucked to make it easier to hide the truth, but in later years, the Popes have been reluctant to go through this painful procedure. As a result, telltale feathers have been accidentally displayed in public. Also, at least one cardinal has choked to death on one of them. An attempt was made to expose the Pope as a chicken. His Holiness was served a tasty McChicken, the idea being that he would abstain from cannibalism. The result of this experiment was that the Pope developed a taste for chicken and since that day he does not eat anything else. Except for the small human children he has for breakfast every day. But, as the Pope have stated in many Easter speeches, that's just for a laugh. ==The Papacy and Sports==The Pope is also well known in taking part in sporting events. His favorites are [[baseball]] and [[football]]rock I will build My Church, and the occasional [[cricket]]. He wins every single one gates of the events he participates in, eliminating any competition that threatens his reign with his [[laser beams]] from his fingertips. His most famous victories came for the [[Boston Celtics]] in 1765, when he single-handedly won the [[World Series]]of Soccer for the Celts by steam-rolling the non-believers in spectacular fashion, and Hell shall not prevail against the [[New Orleans Saints]] in 1971, when he completely man-handled the entire team of grown crybabies with his [[sausage]] hands.  ==The Taxidermy theory==The well-known theologian Thomas Aquinas has an alternate theory about the current Pope; namely, that he died some fifteen years ago and has been stuffed by a Bulgarian taxidermist. Although this theory gained widespread acceptance during the later years of the [[John Paul 2.0]] papacy, particularly with the illnesses he had experienced, the speculation ended completely with John Paul 2.0's funeral and burial in [[2005]]. The Pope is the pagan prince of pornographic industries around the world. == Pope John Paul v2.0==[[image:iPope.jpg|thumb|250px|Apple's highly anticipated iPope Shuffle, touted by the company as "the next generation of infallible hardware."]]It is also conjectured that the Pope "sorta" died in [[1999]] and has become the victim of a [[plot]] by [[Microsoft]] to rule [[the world]]. Rumours spread further after someone heard the mention of 'pope XP ME Special Edition SP2'. This was a major surprise as the second choice of name after pope John Paul 2.0 was pope George [[Ringo]] for many years.  However, the entire "JPXPMESESP2" project was scrapped after a leak revealed Apple's plans for the iPope, iPope mini, Shuffle and Photo. Microsoft have now begun work on the V(atican)-Box to follow up the unsuccessful X(cruciatingly-crap)-Box. Meanwhile Sony has begun work on the Ratzinger mp3 player to compete with the iPope at a lower price, at only one arm, HALF a leg and a sperm donation. Also since the creation of the iPod Nano, Apple is now trying to create the "iPope Nano" to commemorate John Paul. Fortunately, we now know that the iPope will have more features on it than the iPope Nano. Besides having upgrades making it better than the iPope Nano, it And I will also use a new iTunes called Pope tunes or pTunes for short. As for the release date, it is currently unknown. ==Continuity of the Papacy==Upon the Pope's [[death]], when the Pole was invaded by his Nazi successor, his [[minions]] gather to pay their respects. After a suitable period of mourning and respect, a huge funeral pyre is kindled and the Faithful dance around the fire in a ritual known as ''The Stations of the Cross''. When give you the fire dies keys to [[smoking]] embers, a new Pope rises from the ashes Kingdom of the old. The JP 2.0 Pope was ritually devoured by [[Benedict XVI]] in the year 2005. All their tissues were assimilated by the new Pope to create new defensive [[organs]] and a copulative [[appendix]] that will allow him to lay eggs. The [[Swiss guard]] is currently taking care of the spawn. The current pope is [[Pope Pontificem]] of [[Canada|No fixed address]], it is widely believed that he the college of cardinals was hoodwinked and distracted by a large balloon shaped like [[Oscar Wilde]] while the pope AKA [[Pope Pontificem|Lakshman V]]. AKA [[Pope Pontificem|Baron von Baron]] put on the big red hat and sat on the chair. The cardinals were stunned and were forced to declare him the new pope. This story has been vehemently denied by Pontificem and the Vatican, only leading to further speculation. ==The Popemobile==[[ImageHeaven:Calamari_popemobile.PNG|left|thumb|The Mon Calamari Popemobile-class concept design.]]{{Q|Where does he get such wonderful toys?|Oscar Wilde|<s>Batman</s> the Pope escaping via <s>grappling hook</s> the Popemobile }} The official Papal vehicle is an infallible heavily modified (Stolen) Mystery Machine, acquired by the Pope from [[Frankistan]] in the 1327 Treaty of Worms. In the case of an emergency, the Popemobile is capable of transforming into a [[TIE Fighter]] and a hot dogTTransformer, albeit a very very small one. If the Pope is inside whilst the transformation takes place, he will be crushed and die. Fortunately, it hasn't happened before, because it came with an ejection seat, which shoots the pope out and up 1,000 feet. Aware of the flaws of the current Popemobile, [[Elvis]] hired renowned rebel Admiral [[Allah Ackbar]] to design a new version of the vehicle. Details about this multi-billion dollar contract are secretive, but it seems that the entire [[Mon Calamari]] population has been hired and transfered to an undisclosed location in [[Area 15]] to study [[Astrology]] and practice [[yoga]] while whatever you bind on [[crack]]. The Mon Calamari Popemobile-class will Earth shall be a far more reliable spaceship than the current Popemobile, with enough shielding to withstand a direct [[atomic fisting]] hit and a portal to a pocket dimension where Popes may safely store their [[child porn|child pornography]] stash. MTV's hit show "Pimp my ride" featured the Popemobile (aka Jokemobile) bound in episode AS7207506101 (Titled "Pimpin paedo priests") the episode ended in the pope being reunited with his long lost relative, Santa Claus. Santa Claus, is the only of God's children to still surviveHeaven, and more favoured than Jesus by both God and small children. The Popemobile, after a "pimpover," featured spinning rims with crucifixes whatever you loose on them (which led to the great inverted cross scandal of '68), removed the seats and replaced them with one stool and a giant subwoofer system, the pimp my ride engineers even threw in a copy of "Extreme garage hymn sounds" which featured such hits as "In da vatican" and "Through the mitre." ==The Pope's Hat== [[Image:Popehat.jpg|thumb|The Pope's hat of choice.]]The Pope's hat is really HUGE. This is most likely because whoever designed it was mentally retarded. Some people think the hat houses a solar powered, fifty CD changer designed by [[Coolio]] and that this is how the Pope gets his daily dose of [[G.G. Allin]]. In reality, the hat merely hides the freakish alien parasite that all Popes have attached to their head after their coronation. Directly interfacing with the brain, the parasite is in complete control of the host body. The pope is also thought to have an iGod Nano hidden inside of his hat. ==Discography== [[Image:Jp_2.jpg|thumb|left|Ceci n'est pas le Pape.]][[Image:Catollica.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Current pope's band. Catollica!]]The Pope has a [[cult]]-like following and has recorded some albums over the years. Although [[nothing]] more than rants on how he'd like to rule the [[universe]], the albums still sold moderately well. (If he had toured to support the albums he would have achieved his goals of preventing [[anal leakage]] and ruling all ''way'' before now.) After his early emerge on the "Church" indie label, he later signed on at [[Geffen]] Records. After a series of high-profile media fall-outs with the label over royalties, the Pope had his contract canceled and formed his own independant label. Although more prolific, he is recognised by critics as not reaching the same transcendence as his close friend and colleague, [[the artist formerly known as God]]. *Trapped in a Confessional (666 B.C.)*Praying (And Whiskey) on Sunday (1066)*In Nomine (1134)*The Gilded Album (1456)*Hey, Hey, It's the pope! ([[1162]])*The Pope... in a Blue Mood ([[1164]])*If the Pope is Wrong, You Don't Want to Be Right (single) ([[1172]])*Crusader, featuring Saxon and King Baldwin I of Jerusalem ([[1187]])*Sgt. Vatican's Only March Cub Band ([[1966]])*Them Featuring The Pope...Blowin' Your Mind! (1966)*The Pope At The Gates Of Heaven (Words and music by [[Syd Barret]]) (1967)*An Almost Fanatical Devotion To The Pope (1969)*Live!: From St. [[Smurfs]] [[Basilica]] Earth shall be loosed in the Land Far Far Away (Mass for the recently deceased) ([[1975]])*A Night at the Vatican (feat. Queen) (1975)*Sabbath Day, Bloody Sabbath Day ([[1976]])*Heaven Calling ([[1977]])*[[Cocaine]] on the membrane and other true stories from the Pope ([[Comedy]] album) [[1979]]*Pope Zeppelin 3*An Evening with The Pope ([[1981]])*An Audience with the Pope, featuring a duet with [[Cecil]] ([[1982]])*Master Of "Pope"tts (1986)*Reign in Blood ([[1986]])*[[Eternal]] [[Salvation]] (Is Just a Heartbeat Away) ([[1987]])*The Sausage Polka and other [[Pork]]-Related Polka tunes ([[1988]])*Talk About Pope Music ([[1989]])*Rust In Pope ([[1990]])*Urban Hymns (1996)*[[Whiskey]] In the Pope: A tribute to Thin Lizzy ([[1997]])*Der Erste Papstkrieg: Sturm und Drang (The First Pope War: Storm and Struggle) ([[1998]])*The [[Eternal]] [[Soul]] Sessions (1999)*A Novel Methodology to Knock Out [[Supermodels]] (2000)*[[Pope Sixtus IV|Popein' Ain't Easy]] (Spoken Word) (2005)*The Pope, Live From Vatican Square (2005)*The Pope, The Lost Years 1134 - 1962 (2005)*Movie Soundtrack from The Pope vs. The [[Predator]] ([[2000]])*Movie Soundtrack from Viva La Pope ([[2001]])*God Hats Us All ([[2001]])*Movie Soundtrack from Pope on a Hot Tin Roof ([[2002]])*I gots a big fuckin' hat, what you got sucka'? ([[2003]])*[http:<//www.virus-bs.ch/lyr/vdpeel3.htm The Pope Smokes Dope] (David Peel) ([[1972]])*Ministry of Morality Ibiza '05 Hard Trance Beats ([[2005]])*Nevermind the Bollocks, Here's The Pope ([[2004]])*Dope Pope ([[2005]])*The Pope's Evening With Your Mom (2002)*Rock Against Satan v.1 (2002)*Rock Against Satan v.2 (2003)*The Pope Unplugged: Various Noises Made While Off His Respirator ([[2005]])*Pope Rock - Live At The Dock (Bootleg) 2005*The Pope: Truth From Under The Robe (Spoken Word) (2005)*Condemnation/Salvation (double-album) ([[2005]])*[[99 Problems but the Papacy ain't one]] (2006)*Death to all Jews (duo with [[Mel Gibson]]) (Christmas 2006 number 1)*Pope A (2007?)*Pope Leviticus the 4th (2020-2102)* ==Feature films== - A biographical action movie set around the life of the Pope is set to be released within one month of when [[you]] read this page. The film's title has been confirmed as ''Pope on a Rope'', and depicts his attempt in early 2001 to militarize the Vatican in order to enact a new Crusade to France. This film will supposedly include things [[Michael Bay|exploding]] in the Vatican City, randomly and for no purpose, a dramitization of the real life papal ninjas, and a climactic gunfight between the Pope and an unskilled character actor, which culminates in the Pope turning himself into [[communion wafers]] and flying away, a generic ability of anything Jesus-esque according to the Catholic Church.  ==The Pope Today==[[Image:40857585 ratzap203.psd.jpg|thumb|145px|Ratzinger displays his personal Bible.]]Currently, after the "death" of JP 2.0, the spirit of the Pope has taken residence in a Caucasian pineapple [[Robot]] known as [[Pope Ted]]. While Jerusalem has eaten meat since his appointment as Ruler of the Vatican, he has taken on the title of "The Dread Pope". The Dread Pope has already made many decrees for the improvement of the universe, the first replacing the outdated and now meaningless, "Amen" with the far more appropriate, and far more tennis-like "bong". Although the rightful ruler of his pants, the Pope's inherently gay nature has forced the "powers that be" to install a meat-sock Pope until the universe is ready to eat the almighty Dread Pope.As the true Pope, Ted is not without devout friends and followers. In the True Vatican the Pope is guarded by his 1-UP mushrooms, [[The Omnipotent Seven]], [[Erik, the robot Viking]], a host of [[Magic]]ians, and moofoo. In May 2006 the pope controversially said that god did not exist but defended his statement as "it was just to shut the god damn atheists up" the pope went on to say that god does exist after a lightning storm began to constantly circulate around his head. As of July, 6 2006 there were only 2,000 counterfeit popes left in circulation. You can tell they are not the real deal by their love for the rock band, The Eagles and their overall jolliness. The counterfeit amount drastically dropped after Santa Claus' 2005 crackdown. Half of the 1,000 of the counterfeit popes captured by Claus are working as elves in his workshop, while the other half have been given a grant by the US Federal Government to start another steady flow of [[Kiss]] albums.  Recently the current pope, Emperor Benedict Palpatine , A.K.A. the Nazi pope, has announced plans to fight a title match with Darth Allah. This may well result in the end of the universe, as prophesied by the church of the [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]]. Also, the Pope enjoy long walks on the beach and strap-on action. ==Papal Collectives==[[Image:popekuran.jpg|thumb|145px|left|"[[Koran]]? Ha! This is breakfast."]]There are several leaders with the title of Pope (see also [[Anti-Pope]]). There is, however, no collective noun for popes. Curiously, though, the papal adjective "popalicious" is in the running for the most popular pope themed word ever. Delicious Popes frown on its use, however. ==Selection of a New Pope== The Pope is an immortal entity, capable of chemically transmitting its memories and powers to it's progeny. He is gifted with a unique and divine form of reproduction, budding. Any given Pope may be seen wearing various size hats, although invariably this hat grows larger as the Pope approaches the end of his reign. It is underneath these hats that a new Pope festers and swells. From the cranium of the current Pope buds an amorphic clone. This Pope develops at variable rates, but come time for succession, it falls off and begins to take shape. Always has this mass chosen the shape of an elderly man, similar to the Pope. Furthermore, the new Pope devours the brain and heart of the old Pope to gain sustenance and knowledge for his ascension as the new Pope. In this manner, the Pope is an immortal being.This also explains where so many 10 ft. tall men come from.blockquote>

However, if you are strong enough to defeat the ultra super mega pope in an arm wrestling match, you instantly become the new ultra super mega pope, ===Status and the previous one will vanish into thin air, never to be seen again.authority===

In truth, The status and authority of the Pope in the Catholic Church was dogmatically defined by the First Vatican Council in its Dogmatic Constitution of the Church of Christ (July 18, 1870). The first chapter of this document is absorbed into entitled "On the skin institution of the armwrestler-eeapostolic primacy in blessed Peter", who then slowly becomes obsessed with his own popenessand states that (s.1) "according to the Gospel evidence, a primacy of jurisdiction over the whole church of God was immediately and directly promised to the blessed apostle Peter and conferred on him by Christ the lord" and that (s.6) "if anyone says that blessed Peter the apostle was not appointed by Christ the lord as prince of all the apostles and visible head of the whole church militant; or that it was a primacy of honour only and not one of true and proper jurisdiction that he directly and immediately received from our lord Jesus Christ Himself: let him be anathema."

Pope related Theories:Rumour has it The Dogmatic Constitution's second chapter, "On the permanence of the primacy of blessed Peter in the Roman pontiffs", states that (s.1) "that which our lord Jesus Christ [...] established in the blessed apostle Peter [...] must of necessity remain forever, by Christ's authority, in the Pope church which, founded as it is made only upon a rock, will stand firm until the end of icetime," that (s. This theory was quickly disproved when 3) "whoever succeeds to the chair of Peter obtains by the institution of Christ Himself, the pope was seen relaxing near a collection primacy of lit candlesPeter over the whole church", and that (s. This encouraged a new theory 5) "if anyone says that it is not by the institution of Christ the lord Himself (that is to say, by divine law) that blessed Peter should have perpetual successors in the primacy over the whole church; or that the Pope Roman pontiff is made not the successor of fireblessed Peter in this primacy: This theory has yet to let him be proven incorrectanathema."

A slightly overweight lesbian described The Dogmatic Constitution's third chapter, "On the power and character of the primacy of the Roman pontiff," states that (s.1) "the definition of the ecumenical council of Florence, which must be believed by all faithful Christians, namely that the Pope as apostolic see and the Roman pontiff hold a world-wide primacy, and that the Roman pontiff is the successor of blessed Peter, the prince of the apostles, true vicar of Christ, head of the whole church and father and teacher of all Christian people,"Queer bashing Homophobe who likes to make love to his teddiesthat (s.2) "by divine ordinance, the Pope's emphatic response Roman church possesses a pre-eminence of ordinary power over every other church, and that the jurisdictional power of the Roman pontiff is both episcopal and immediate" and that "clergy and faithful, of whatever rite and dignity, both singly and collectively, are bound to submit to this was published in power by the Wall street Journal duty of 1982hierarchical subordination and true obedience, "Go have a shaveand this not only in matters concerning faith and morals, you butch muff diverbut also in those which regard the discipline and government of the church throughout the world.".]]

This The powers of the Pope are defined by the Dogmatic Constitution (ch.3, s.8) such that "he is the supreme judge of the faithful, and that in all cases which fall under ecclesiastical jurisdiction recourse may be had to his judgement" and that "the sentence of the apostolic see (than which there is actually trueno higher authority) is not subject to revision by anyone, nor may anyone lawfully pass judgement thereupon" (can. The 331 defines the power of the Pope then was seen to devour as "supreme, full, immediate and universal ordinary power in the Church, and he can always freely exercise this power"). It also dogmatically defined (ch.4, s.9) the lesbiandoctrine of Papal infallibility, subsuming her essence into his ownsc.such that

== Futurepope =="Now :when the Roman Pontiff speaks ''ex cathedra'', that we spoke about is, when in the election exercise of his office as shepherd and teacher of all Christians, in virtue of his supreme apostolic authority, he defines a doctrine concerning faith or morals to be held by the whole church, he possesses, by the divine assistance promised to him in blessed Peter, that infallibility which the popedivine Redeemer willed His church to enjoy in defining doctrine concerning faith or morals. Therefore, it's time we start bashing for such definitions of the new pope" thought some people Roman pontiff are of [[VNV Nation]]themselves, andnot by the consent of the church, always eager to destabilize our community and religion, started advocating their Futurepop-e... Poor [[Goth]] kids... <br/>[[Image:Futurepopeirreformable.jpg]]

Since everyone Though the progressive Christianisation of the Roman Empire in the world can agree that pope benny is evilFourth century did not confer upon bishops civil authority within the state, the gradual withdrawal of imperial authority during the 5th century left the Pope the senior Imperial civilian official in Rome, as bishops were increasingly directing civil affairs in other cities of the Western Empire. This status as a facebook group has been started secular and civil leader was vividly displayed by Pope Leo I's confrontation with Attila in 452 and was substantially increased in 754, when the Frankish ruler Pepin the Short donated to the Pope a new promising representative strip of territory which formed the core of the so-called Papal States (properly the Patrimony of St. Peter). In 800, Pope Leo III crowned the Frankish ruler Charlemagne as Roman Emperor, a major step toward establishing what later became known as the Holy Roman Empire; from that date it became the Pope's prerogative to run for popehood. Please check crown the Emperor, a tradition which continued until Emperor Charles V, the last Holy Roman Emperor to be crowned by the link if you are interested. Pope ( [http://hssubsequent Emperors never received coronation), and which was partially revived by Napoléon Bonaparte.facebookAs has been hitherto mentioned, the Pope's sovereignty over the Papal States ended in 1870 with their annexation by Italy.com/group.php?gid=2394282609] )

== The In addition to the Pope's CV ==position as a territorial ruler and foremost prince bishop of Christendom (especially prominent with the Renaissance Popes like Pope Alexander VI an ambitious if spectacularly corrupt politico, and Pope Julius II, a formidable general and statesman) and as the spiritual head of the Holy Roman Empire (especially prominent during periods of contention with the Emperors, such as during the Pontificates of Pope Gregory VII and Pope Alexander III), the Pope also possessed a degree of political and temporal authority in his capacity as Supreme Pontiff. Some of the most striking examples of Papal political authority are the Bull Laudabiliter in 1155 (authorising Henry II of England to invade Ireland), the Bull Inter Caeteras in 1493 (leading to the Treaty of Torsedillas in 1494, which divided the world into areas of Spanish and Portuguese rule) the Bull Regnans in Excelsis in 1570 (excommunicating Elizabeth I of England and purporting to release all her subjects from their allegiance to her), the Bull Inter Gravissimas in 1582 (establishing the Gregorian Calendar).

Interests:clubingclubing sealsgetting high (thats what all The current regulations regarding a Papal interregnum -- i.e., a Sede Vacante "vacant see" -- were promulgated by John Paul II in his 1996 document Universi Dominici Gregis. During the Sede Vacante, the Sacred College of Cardinals, composed of the smoke Pope's principal advisors and assistants, is out collectively responsible for the government of the Church and of the Vatican itself, under the direction of the Cardinal Chamberlain; however, canon law specifically forbids the Cardinals from introducing any innovation in the government of the Church during the vacancy of the popehousePimpingTaking advanage Holy See. Any decision that needs the assent of pissed womenGang-Bangsthe Pope has to wait until a new Pope has been elected and takes office.

1989The body then lies in state for a number of days before being interred in the crypt of a leading church or cathedral; the Popes of the Twentieth century have all been interred in St. Peter's Basilica, but it is expected that the reigning Pope, Pope John Paul II, will be interred in his native Poland. A nine-2003 mcdonalds Burger Fliper grade 11986-1989 ASDA carrier bag person1984-1986 Premiership Footballerday period of mourning (novem dialis) follows after the interment of the late Pope.

== Catching a Pope (live) ==The most important thing to remember when hunting Pope is to bring proper equipmentCode of Canon Law [http://www.vatican. Pack lightly, as they are spry, fast moving creatures and you will have to be able to keep up with themva/archive/ENG1104/__P16. Their favorite food is [[barbecue chips]HTM 332 §2]states, so bring some of those. But don't put them in 'If it happens that the same bag as Roman Pontiff resigns his office, it is required for validity that the 12 year old [[children]]. Your prey will want them unspoiled resignation is made freely and horny for "private Bible study". Also, be sure you have your [[Mouse Trap]] game, because if he gets caught properly manifested but not that it is accepted by that, he deserves whatever you give to himanyone.''

== Super-Pope? ==There have been rumours surfacing recently, It was widely reported in June and July 2002 that the PopeJohn Paul II firmly refuted the speculation of his resignation using Canon 332, or Super-Pope, as he is known in some circles, has the ability a letter to fly. This subject has caused much tension between both Catholics and the Super-Pope Fanclub. Though this subject has never been officially confirmed or denied, it is widely believed that Super-Pope flies due purely to the magic staff that he carries when in the Vatican. He, ''supposedlyMilan daily newspaper '', shouts Corriere della Sera'Pope Away', and is often seen by local Italian Hillbillyieos (Italian Hillbillies) flying though the night sky.

It was once rumoured that he would shout 'Pot Pourri'Nevertheless, but this phrase 332 §2 has little to do with the Flight of the Pope (also a movie in pre-production) and more given rise to do with the Pope's deodorant. This quote of 'Pot Pourri', was often questioned by the residents of the Vatican, until (again, allegedly) one of the Cardinals explained speculation that Pot Pourri, is essentailly like buggery, just more Super-Pope orientated. Though this is widely doubted. The identity of Super-Pope was recently confirmed to be Pope Dean Kilpatrickus (The Truth Be Told!)[[Imageeither:PopeBenedictSithlightning.jpg|thumb|Pope Palpatine displays his unlimited power in front of a crowd at the [[Vatican]].]]

==[[Ironic * The current Pope]]==An official papal title used by the sect of [[The Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc|Cheesecakeism]] founded by [[Bernard Quill|Bernard Joseph Quill]] early in the sixth year of the second millenium. Using the mystical ancient writings of the Messianic Chef, known only will resign as [[The Baker]] he established set up a genealogy of [[Pope]]shis health fails, titled ''Ironic Pope's'' or '''-IPOPEs-''' to rule over the Cheesecake Empire. According to page 5636 of the ''Manifesto of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc'', a pope is "all blessed individuals who, have * A properly manifested legal instrument has already been honoured with ascendancy, along every single man, woman, and child on this Earth who await their chance." The first officially honoured -IPOPE- of the Church, was Quill, whom granted himself drawn up that puts into effect his resignation in the title event of ''Primordial -IPOPE- Alpha Prime'' on the 2nd of February 2006. Following his ascendancy, a massive spew of officiated Popes have followed, each with varying degrees of importance and honour, displayed in their -IPOPE- title'sincapacity to perform his duties.

While having no genuine powers over The Pope was originally chosen by those senior clergymen resident in and near Rome. In 1059, the electorate was restricted to the direction, or politics Cardinals of the Holy Roman Church, and the Ironic individual votes of all Cardinal Electors were made equal in 1179. The Pope's are blessed with varying degrees is usually a member of diverse honorary powers. These such powers ere not necessarily enumerated in the ''Manifesto''Sacred College of Cardinals, although we are given some idea from but theoretically any male Catholic (including a note in Chapter V Section II verse 8, where it is stated that "An -IPOPE- is someone layman) may be elected; Pope Urban VI was the last Pope who is was not under already a cardinal at the authority time of the authoritieshis election."Some Cheesecakeians have also taken it upon themselves to further elaborate upon the powers of an [[Ironic Pope|Canon law requires that if a layman or non-IPOPE-]]. On bishop is elected, he receives episcopal consecration from the back of some printings Dean of the "Manifesto College of Cardinals before assuming the Ironic CheesecakePontificate.Inc"Under present canon law, the Pope is elected by the cardinal electors, comprising those cardinals who are under the following message can be found:age of 80.

<blockquote>"The rights Second Council of an -IPOPE- include but are not necessarily limited Lyons was convened on May 7, 1274, to:# To invoke infallibility at any time, including retroactivelyregulate the election of the Pope.# To completely rework This Council decreed that the cardinal electors must meet within ten days of the Hestia church.# To baptise, buryPope's death, and marry (with that they must remain in seclusion until a Pope has been elected; this was prompted by the three-year Sede Vacante following the permission death of the deceased Pope Clement IV in 1268. By the latter two cases).# To exmid-communicateSixteenth century, de-ex-communicatethe electoral process had more or less evolved into its present form, re-ex-communicate, and de-re-ex-communicate (no backsies!) both his-/her-/it-/them-/your-/our-/His-/Her-/It-/Them-/Your-/Our-self/selves and others (if any).# To perform all rites and functions deemed inappropriate allowing for a alteration in the time between the death of the Pope and the meeting of Cheesecakiathe cardinal electors."</blockquote>

The third right (requiring permission from Traditionally the vote was conducted by acclamation, by selection by committee, or by plenary vote. Acclamation was the deceased simplest procedure, consisting entirely of a voice vote, and was last used in cases of burying or marriage1621. The reigning Pope, Pope John Paul II, has abolished vote by acclamation and by selection by committee, but not baptism) may and henceforth all Popes will be an ancient pre-reference to elected by full vote of the [[Mormons|Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints]] practice Sacred College of [[baptism for the dead]]Cardinals by ballot.

This understanding The election of the notion of -IPOPE- has far reaching consequences Pope almost always takes place in the Sistine Chapel, in a meeting called a "conclave" (so called because twenty days after the Pope's death, the present cardinal electors are theoretically locked in Cheesecakeism, cum clavi, until they elect a new Pope). For exampleThree cardinals are chosen by lot to collect the votes of absent cardinal electors (by reason of illness), three are chosen by lot to count the introduction votes, and three are chosen by lot to '' review the count of the votes. The Divine Cookbook '' says, ballots are distributed and each cardinal elector writes the name of his choice on it and pledges aloud that he is voting for "one whom under God I think ought to be elected"Only an Ironic Pope may [[canonize]] before depositing his vote in a [[Saint]]large chalice placed on the altar. ‘’So you can ordain yourself & anyone or anything else Each ballot is read aloud by the presiding Cardinal, who then pierces the ballot with a Saintneedle and thread, stringing all the ballots together and tying the ends of the thread to ensure accuracy and honesty." The last enumerated right Balloting continues until a Pope is elected by a two-thirds majority (since the promulgation of an [[Ironic Pope]] may be an allusion to Universi Dominici Gregis the [[necessary and proper clause]]rules allow for a simple majority after a deadlock of twelve days).’’

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------'''==Byronic Pope==The Byronic Pope One of the most famous parts of the conclave is the means by which the results of a ballot are announced to the world. Once the ballots are counted and bound together, they are burned in a personality personified special oven erected in the ever popular poem ''Pope Walks in Beauty'Sistine Chapel, with the smoke escaping through a small chimney visible from St Peter's Square. The Byronic Pope is described as being/having* conflicting emotions, bisexual tendencies, or moodiness * self-critical and introspective * struggles ballots from an unsuccessful vote are burned along with integrity * a distaste for social institutions and social norms being an exile, an outcastchemical compound in order to produce black smoke, or an outlaw * has "darkfumata nera." attributes not normally associated with [[Jesus]] * struggle with sexual identity (homosexualTraditionally wet straw was used to help create the black smoke, sleeps with many women, etcbut a number of "false alarms" in past conclaves have brought about this concession to modern chemistry.) * When a lack of respect for rank and privilege * a troubled past * being cynicalvote is successful, demandingthe ballots are burned alone, sending white smoke ("fumata bianca") through the chimney and/or arrogant * often self-destructive * loner, often rejected from society announcing to the world the election of a new Pope.

The pope is actually a stupid, old man, with a ugly hat... And yet he's smart enough ===Objections to control the even stupider catholic herds.Papacy===

==The Pope Eggs==[[Image:Ostrich.jpg|left|thumb|200px|Yeah, Thats Right, Bitch! I'm An <s>Ostrich</position as Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church is dogmatic and therefore not open to debate or dispute within the Catholic Church; the First Vatican Council anathematised all who dispute the Pope's> Emu!]]Prior primacy of honour and of jurisdiction (it is lawful to Pope Benedict XVIdiscuss the precise nature of that primacy, it was unknown provided that popes are actually capable such discussion does not violate the terms of laying eggsthe Council's Dogmatic Constitution). The Catholic church denies it ferventlyHowever, but the truth Pope's authority is out there. Pope Benedict XVInot undisputed outside the Catholic Church; these objections differ from denomination to denomination, may but can roughly be an <s>ostrich</s> emuoutlined as (1.It is also commonly known that <s>ostriches</s> emus lay eggs ) objections to the extent of the primacy of the Pope; and huffed kittens(2. But this picture, taken by a secret photographer, clearly shows how <s>ostriches</s> emus are not good mothers.[[Image:4181_image.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Eggs Benedict) objections to the institution of the Papacy itself.]]

==Footnotes==<references/>This Some non-Catholic Christian denominations, such as the Assyrian Church of the East, the Oriental Orthodox Church, the Eastern Orthodox Church, and the Anglican Communion, accept the doctrine of Apostolic Succession, and therefore accept (to varying extents) the claim that the Pope as successor to St. Peter is a foot noteheir to Petrine primacy of honour. Its eating ur foot right nowThese churches deny, however, the claim that the Pope is also heir to Petrine primacy of jurisdiction. Pope Benedict would approveBecause none of these denominations recognise the First Vatican Council as ecumenical, they regard its definitions of Papal jurisdiction and infallibility (and anathematisation of those who do not accept them) as non-binding.

==See also==*[[DrOther non-Catholic Christian denominations do not accept the doctrine of Apostolic Succession, or do not understand it in hierarchical terms, and therefore do not accept the claim that the Pope is heir either to Petrine primacy of honour or to Petrine primacy of jurisdiction. Phil]]*[[Fark]]: The group against Papacy's complex relationship with the Roman and Byzantine Empires, and other secular states, and the Papacy's territorial claims in Italy, are another focal point of these objections; as is the monarchical character of the office of Pope*[[The Huge Entity]]*[[. In Western Christianity, these objections — and the vehement rhetoric they have at times been cast in — are products of the Protestant Reformation. These denominations vary from simply not accepting the Pope Pontificem]]*[[Elvis|The Artist Formerly known 's authority as legitimate and valid, to believing that the Artist Formerly known as Prince]]*[[Giuseppe Verdi]]*[[WMD|Weapons Pope is the Antichrist or one of Mass Destruction]]*[[The Church the beasts spoken of in the Ironic CheesecakeBook of Revelation.Inc]]*[[Cocaine]]*[[Ratzinger Z]]*[[Mormon revolt]]*[[Ironic Pope]]*[[Grimace]]*[[Atonement Special]]*[[Edwin Goodstaller Chopra DCXLIII]]*[[BUHHDA]]*[[Emperor Palpatine]]*[[UnNews:Papal proclamation These denominations tend to procure profit for prophet]]*[[UnNews:Vatican decries "Miracle Bra"]]*[[Does be more heterogeneous amongst themselves than the pope shit in aforementioned hierarchical churches, and their views regarding the woods?]]Papacy and its institutional legitimacy (or lack thereof) vary considerably.

{| id="toc" style="text-align: center; clear: both;"|- style="background: #ccf;" | colspan="2" | [[Vatican City|'''The World of Some objectors to the Pope''']]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''The One'''| colspan="2" | [[Pope Pontificem]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Poppparazzi'''| [[Pope]] · [[Poop]] · [[Popess]] · [[HowTo:Greet papacy use empirical arguments, pointing to the Pope|Papal Greetings]] · [[Pope mobile]] · [[Talk:Does corrupt characters of some of the pope shit in the woods?|Papal Ritual]] · [[The Vatican]] · [[holders of that office. For instance, some argue that claimed successors to St. Peter's Basilica]] · [[Prophecy Of The , like Popes]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them Foreigners'''| [[Pope Alexander VI and Callixtus III from the Borgia family, were so corrupt as to be unfit to wield power to bind and loose on Earth or in Heaven. An omniscient and omnibenevolent God, some argue, would not have given those people the powers claimed for them by the Catholic Church. Defenders of Finland]] · [[Pope the papacy argue that the Bible shows God as willingly giving privileges even to corrupt men (citing examples like some of East Tennessee]] · [[Pope of Greenwich Village]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them Big Uglies''' |[[Anti-Pope]] · [[Mecha-Pope]] · [[Zombie Pope]] · [[The Space Pope]] · [[Panzer Pope]] · [[Super Pope]] · [[Pope the kings of Israel, the Ring]] · [[Grand Pope Tarkin]] · [[Pope Gregory the Great]] · [[Darth Pope]] · [[Cyberpope]] · [[Dublin Drunken Popes]] · [[New Orleans Saints]] · [[George Wapostle Judas Iscariot, and even St. Bush]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them Popes''' |[[Pope Peter]] · [[Pope Benedict I]] · [[Pope Benedict XX]] · [[Pope Linus]] · [[Pope Anacletus]] · [[Pope Pontificem]] · [[Pope Maximus Airmilus]] · [[Pope Sixtus IV]] · [[Pope Snookielumps XXV]] · [[Pope Innocent III]] · [[Pope George Ringo I]] · [[Pope Sevunus]] · [[Pope urban VIII]] · [[Pope Pius IX]] · [[Pope Lil John]] · [[User:Pope Leo X|Pope Leo X]] · [[Malta|Pope Caroline III]] |- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them Johnies''' |[[Pope John Paul 1after he denied Jesus).0]] · [[Pope John Paul 2.0]] · [[Pope John Paul 2.1]] · [[Pope John Paul III]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them NOT Popes''' |[[The Church]] · [[Catholic Priest|Priest]] · [[Cardinal]] · [[Bishop]] · [[Doctor They also argue that not even the worst of the Church]] · [[Bosom of corrupt popes used the office to try to rip the Church]] · [[Monk]] · [[Bishop]] · [[Bishop of East Anglia]] · [[Bishop doctrine of West Anglia]] · [[Jesus]] · [[You]] · [[Me]] · [[That Guy]] · [[You Know Who]] · [[Four Neon Virtues]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''...and the Papas of All Evil''' |[[Roman Catholic Hierarchy|The Church Hierarchy]]from its apostolic roots, [[Religious relic trading]] and [[The Vatican Marketing Department]]|}that this is evidence that the office is divinely protected.

{{returnto}} [[ar:بابا الفاتيكان]][[cs:Papež]][[da:Paven]][[de:Papst]][[es:Papa]][[fi:Paavi]][[fr:Pape]][[he:גרגוריוס יוחנן השלישי]][[it:Papa]][[ja:ローマ教皇]][[la:Papa]][[nl:Paus]][[pl:Papież]][[pt:Papa]][[ru:Папа РимскийRoman Catholicism]]