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Unlike the other [[Gospels]], which introduce John the Baptist into the narrative as an adult, the first started smoking marijuana when he was 15 years old after witnessing [[Gospel of LukeTommy Chong]] provides eat his vegetable father due to an account extreme case of his infancythe munchies. According to Luke, John the Baptist was the forerunner of [[Jesus Christ]], and son He then smoked over 9000 pounds of [[Zacharias]] and [[Elizabeth]]; his birth, name, weed with Tommy and office, they were foretold by the angel [[Gabriel]] to Zacharias, while Zacharias was performing his functions as both so baked that they masturbated on a priest in the [[temple]] of [[Jerusalem]]. According to Luke, Zacharias was a priest of the course of [[Abijah]], frog and his wife, Elisabeth, was of the Daughters of Aaron ([[Luke 1:5]]); consequently John automatically held the [[priesthood of Aaron]], which, to the Jewsthat' eyes, gave him authority to s how [[baptism|baptizeNoah]] in the name of Godwas born.
Luke states that John was born about six months before Jesus, and that Zacharias' unbelief over the birth of his son led to him losing his power of speech, which was only restored on the occasion of John's circumcision ([[Luke 1:64]]). On the basis of Luke's account, the Catholic calendar placed the feast of John the Baptist on June 24, six months before Christmas.
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John the Baptist Stoner was the son of [[ElizabethLiz Vicious]] and the priest crack dealer [[ZechariahZucchini B. Squash]]. He was a freak baby due to an accidental insemination while Liz was masturbating with a zucchini. The video can be seen at http://www.lizvicious.com As told in the [[Gospel of LukeSkywalker]], <s>he was born to his parents</s> he appeared the next day in Jerry Sienfiled's briefcase, supernaturally, in their and was not found until he was 2 years old age. He was related to Jesus through his mother, Elizabeth who was How he survived is a relative of [[Mary (mother of Jesus)|Mary]]mystery. He began his ministry of calling for [[repentance]] and [[baptism]] in the 15th year of the reign of Roman Emperor [[Tiberius Caesar]] (which would place it around 28-29 AD). He baptized [[Jesus]] Some people think he's Jeebus's cousin but that is a lie, like most biblical stories.
===BirthEarly years===
===[[Baptism of Jesus]]===
He drowned Jesus because he was too high.
===John's imprisonment and beheading===
When they arrested him for the murder of Jesus, they found an 8 ball of cocaine, 5 crack rocks, 2 ounces of weed, 8 ounces of shrooms, 30 sheets of acid, 50 ecstasy pills, and the head of Colonel Sanders.
They TOOK OFF HIS HEAD
===John the Baptist as Elijah the prophet===
<s>It was common belief that Elijah the prophet would return in the days of the promised Messiah. When Jesus was asked this question, He replied that Elijah had returned as John the Baptist, but the world did not recognize him. (Matthew 17:10-13)</s>
Snoo[[PINGAS]] usual, I see!
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