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----{{Infobox_Contents |topic_name = The Papacy |subtopics = [[Popes Index]]For Benedict's solution, see * [[Benedict's solutionPeter and the Papacy]]* Titles ----[[Holy Father]] |opinion_pieces = {{short_opinions}} |}}

The [[Pope]] is the head of [[Roman Catholicism|Roman Catholic Church]] and [[Eastern Catholic Churches]]. In addition to this spiritual role, the Pope is also head of the independent, sovereign [[Vatican City|State of the Vatican City]], a city-state entirely surrounded by the city of Rome. Prior to 1870, the Pope's temporal authority extended over a large area of central [[Italy]], a territory formally known as the "Patrimony of St Peter" under the terms of the [[Donation of Constantine]], but more familiar as the [[Papal States]]. The office of the Pope is informally called the [[Papacy]] and formally called the Pontificate; his ecclesiastical jurisdiction is called the [[Holy See]] (''Sancta Sedes''). Catholics worldwide consider each pope to be the succesor of [[St. Peter]]. The current Pope is now the official 151st pokemonBenedict XVI.

The '''Pope'' (or as the French call him Le Pope) The Pope An antipope is selected from a collection of really ancient members of person who claims the clergy, based on his ability Pontificate without being canonically and properly elected to sexually restrain himself in the presence it. The existence of altar boys, which an antipope is why there can be only one at any given time. Over the years, the number of Papal candidates has been dropping usually due either to abstinence from procreationdoctrinal controversy within the Church, proving that evolution does exist and that God doesn't.{{wikipedia}}Papal candidates typically wear red capes and are capable of subsonic flight, they are also able or to destroy condoms using the power of sight alone. Papal candidates often take off at approximately 6:00AM every morning confusion as to visit God and find out what he's [[Brian Peppers|bitching about this time]]. Traffic control who is handled by angel's who are deemed unfit to serve in the Angel Forces due to their alcoholism and sex-offender status. Upon arriving legitimate Pope at [[New_York|Heaven's Gate 16]], Papal candidates are directed to a waiting line. Due to long wait times and a 2:00PM closing the time (standard across all of Heaven's government services), Papal candidates never find out what God wants, and they make [[Ten Commandments|shit]] up instead.

The iPope is an anthropomorphic personification of all the fear in the world (the Antichrist). The iPope comes into existence when one heads of the [[Oscar Wilde|Old OnesCoptic Church]] sacrifices itself for and the ill of [[women|mankindEastern Orthodox Church of Alexandria]]. Thisare also called "Popes" for historical reasons, unfortunately, happens all too oftenwith the former being called "'''Coptic Pope'''" or "'''Pope of Alexandria'''" and the latter called "'''Pope and Patriarch of Alexandria and All Africa'''"; the parallel construction "'''Pope of Rome'''" is uncommon but occasionally used.

In recent years, following The word "Pope" is derived from the implosion Greek word ''pappas'' ("father") and was originally used in an affectionate sense of any priest or bishop (in the exact same way that modern priests are addressed as "Father"). In the western world 4th and 5th centuries, ''pappas'' (Latinized as ''papa'', a form still preserved in Spanish and [[Mushroom Kingdom]] after Portuguese was still frequently used of any bishop in the inauguration of George BushWest, although it gradually came to be increasingly restricted to its modern, exclusive use by the Pope switched sides and has recently found part time employment as the Grand Ayatollah Bishop of IranRome. The current pope is former soul legend [[Jackie Wilson]] (weekends only between 9am-5pm). At all other times In the Vatican displays the humorous sign "Gone fishing" with the helpful advice that East, especially in cases of emergency one should "Destroy all records of paedophileGreece and Russia, priests are still referred to as ''pappas''s stored with the FBI".

==Papacity==The common factor in all kinds As early as the third century, the Bishop of Alexandria exercised a high degree of papacities is the sense central control of [[autosufficiency]]suffragan Egyptian bishops, implying that in a manner consciously similar to the definition jurisdiction of '''pope''' is the one uplifting the sense Bishop of autosufficiency, f.ex. through silently repeating: ''I'm Rome; the Best, because only I think like me''. <ref>'''nota male:''' not Alexandrian archbishop was given precedence immediately after the '''beast''' – that would be totally misleading!</ref> The concept of papacity is subdivided into at least two subconcepts, namely Roman pontiff by the [[ChristianCouncil of Nicea]] papacity, and adopted the [[Discordian]] papacitytitle "Pope of Alexandria, then ignoring " which still forms an integral part of the so trivially obvious concepts titles of [[major popes]] like the ones on the political scene, Greek Orthodox "Pope and Patriarch of Alexandria and All Africa" and [[minor popes]] that everybody have experienced f.ex. in their work as obstacles to real achievements. The discordian papacity concept is discussed more in detail in of the article Coptic "Pope of [[Discordia]], Alexandria and major and minor popes under their respective article – this article is about of the Christian pope, AKA See of Saint Mark the iPopeApostle."

===EnvironmentOffice and nature===The iPope lives in a dimension only partially connected with this world, known as the Vatican. This land is created by the iPope, as are all "creatures" that live there. The iPope acts like a spider in this sense, casting it's web out through the world for creatures which to feed on.[[Image:Pope_looks_like_palpatine_02.jpg|left|thumb|134px|he played that part as emperor]]

==The title "Pope" is an informal one; the formal title of the Pope in Deanism==is "Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, [[Image:Pope_Kilpatrickus.jpg|thumbApostolic Succession|Successor]] of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Patriarch of the West, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of the Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God," although this is rarely seen or used in full (by comparison, the formal title of the Orthodox Pope Deanand Patriarch of Alexandria is "Successor of Saint Mark the Apostle, leader Shepherd of Shepherds, Father of Fathers, Supreme Pontiff of All Metropolitans and founder Bishops, Judge of Deanism.]]The the World, and Beloved of Christ", often called the "Ecumenical Judge"; the Coptic Pope in Deanism is a serious styled "Popeand Patriarch of the See of Alexandria and of All the Predication of the Evangelist St. Mark"). Ha, just kidding! The Pope of Deanism In canon law he is always Pope Dean referred to as the "Roman Pontiff" (something''Pontifex Romanus''). The current Pope is Pope Dean Kilpatrickus who will probably die around 2300AD styled "Your Holiness" (he may be considered to be a Super-Pope, see below''Sanctitas Vostra''). He and is sometimes seen watching [[Have I Got News For You]]frequently referred to as "the Holy Father."

The Pope Kilpatrickus invented 's signature is usually in the Antiformat "''NN. PP. x''" (''e.g.'', [[Pope Paul VI]] signed his name as "Paulus PP. VI"), and his name is frequently accompanied in inscriptions by the abbreviation "Pont. Max." or "P.M." (abbreviation of the ancient title ''Pontifex Maximus'', literally "Greatest Bridge-Anti-Freezemaker", but usually translated "Supreme Pontiff"). The signature of Papal bulls is customarily ''NN. Episcopus Ecclesia Catholicae'' ("NN. Bishop of the Catholic Church"), which while the heading is better than Alcohol''NN. Episcopus Servus Servorum Dei'' ("NN. Bishop and Servant of the Servants of God"), apparentlythe latter title dating to the time of [[Pope Gregory I]] ''the Great''. But it would explain why he speaks slurredOther titles used in some official capacity include ''Summus Pontifex'' ("Highest Pontiff"), ''Sanctissimus Pater'' and ''Beatissimus Pater'' ("Most Holy Father" and "Most Blessed Father"), ''Sanctissimus Dominus Noster'' ("Our Most Holy Lord"), and, in the [[Middle Ages|Mediaeval period]], ''Dominus Apostolicus'' ("Apostolic Lord").

===The Pope: In a nutshell===[[Image:PalpatineBenny.jpg|thumb|145px|The current iPope, Benedict MMXVI]][[Image:ratze.jpg|thumb|145px|Benedict's Predecessor as iPopeofficial residence is the Palace of the Vatican, Joe Ratze II, as depicted and he also possesses a summer palace at Castel Gandolfo (believed to be situated on a catholic PR poster in a recent campaign which has picked out the great protestant-catholic church war in site of the 16th century as a central theme]][[Image:popeancient city-phaseolus-XIXstate Alba Longa).jpg|thumb|145px|Pope Phaseolus XIX after Historically the coronation]]The iPope was invented by a man who like to have Halloween all the time called God. The iPope is also one official residence of the few people who don't have good christian moral values.iPope DJ David Tennant II O.B.E is Pope was the current popeLateran Palace, aka Michael Brennandonated by the Roman Emperor Constantinus I. Sirrah!!!!! '''The iPope'''former Papal summer palace, or as the French would sayQuirinal Palace, '''L'The iPope''', is often referred to as '''[[Father Ted]]''' has subsequently been the official residence of the Kings of Italy and owns half of Zimbabwe. He is, however, unaccountable for it's peoples' safety. Muhammad Ali often takes advantage Presidents of this fact by taking a Sunday drive through the Zimbabwean plains, running down all those who stand in his wayItalian Republic. When asked for comment on his heinous acts at a recent press conference, The iPope had this to say:

Contrary to popular belief, it is the Pope's ecclesiastical jurisdiction (the Holy See) and not his secular jurisdiction (Vatican City) which conducts international relations; for hundreds of years, the Pope's court (the Roman Curia) has functioned as the government of the Catholic Church. The name "I pity Holy See" (also "Apostolic See") is in ecclesiastical terminology the ordinary jurisdiction of the foolBishop of Rome (including the Roman Curia); the Pope's various honours, powers, who dare live and privileges within the Catholic Church and the international community derive from his Episcopate of Rome in my constituencylineal succession from the Apostle St." Peter (This see Apostolic Succession). Consequently Rome has traditionally occupied a central position in the Catholic Church, although this is not necessarily so. The Pope derives his Pontificate from being Bishop of Rome but is not obligated to reside in Rome; according to the believed cause Latin formula ubi Papa, ibi Curia, wherever the Pope resides is the central government of death for [[John Lennon]]the Church, provided that the Pope is Bishop of Rome. As such, between 1309 and 1378 the Popes resided not in Rome but in Avignon, a period often called the Babylonian Captivity in allusion to the Biblical exile of Israel (see Avignon Papacy).

The word '''Catholic''' is actually a derivative tradition maintains that the institution of the Pontificate can be found in the [[Bible]], and cites certain key passages in support of '''cat lick''' i.e. 'to lick a cat'this contention. This has led many to speculate that the pope Chief among these passages is addicted [[Matthew 16]]:18-19, wherein Jesus Christ says to [[kitten huffingApostle Peter|Peter]], though he is on the record as saying he "never inhaled.":

'''The iPope''' is 299 years of age, with a standard deviation of 8.3. <blockquote>'''The iPope''' is not human and chooses his next body to assimilate when his current one dies. He always chooses old incontinent men for easy assimilation through the bowel area. When between bodies the Pope looks something like a cross between a badger and a Commodore 64.[[Image:40782459_pope_body_ap.....jpg|thumb|left|145px|The Pope conversing with his Grand Master [[Sauron]]]]'''The iPope''' steals baby's souls and feeds them to [[God]]. This is also known as "cot death".''' The iPope ''' is the overlord and master of The V.A.T (the ''verily astronomical tax''), the largest form of tax on Earth. In the late 1920s he used the awesome power of the [[Vatican]] City, which sports a high 70% tax (spent primarily on silencing outraged shopkeepers) to write his [[grocery list]] on the [[sun]]. With this achievement, he won the rank of [[pope]]. However, this caused a chain reaction, the result of which is that the sun will become a volleyball in [[2037]] as opposed to millions or billions of years from now. There is great debate over whether this is a [[good thing]] or a [[bad thing]]. He has also been known to shoot lasers from his fingertips (which consequently has left him without fingerprints), eyes, and sometimes his large laser cannon that is carried by his pet bear, Popo.Legendary [[racism|racist]] and Irishman '''the iPope''' is proud to be a bigoted backwards hypocrite. Born in 1743 in Westphalenstrassehaussenburgsteinschnellschnellkartoffelkopf, '''the Pope''' was a founding member of Germany's National Socialist Party, the NSDAP or Nazi Party for short. His lifelong [[hatred]] for [[Jew|Jews]] and [[blacks]] led him inevitably to the [[Catholic]] Church where he has made it his mission to spread lies to the ignorant and misery to the poor.[[Image:PopeGlasses.jpg|thumb|145px|"I see you, Blessed are you sweaty heathen"]]His favourite hobbies include sitting on his big throne there, wearing big hats, and standing on balconies. He particularly enjoys the irony that as a notorious antiSimon Bar-Semite, he has far more fabulous wealth than he could ever count in the few remaining years of his life. It also pleases him that millions of black Catholics die in absolute poverty every year while he shits in a solid gold crapper. to celebrate, he has christened their day of defeat [[I Have AIDS, You Have AIDS Day]]. [[Image:Darth_Benedict.jpg|thumb|180px|The face of power, unlimited powerJona!]] He cites getting his mitre signed by [[Mick McCarthy]] when he was permitted to meet the Irish team during [[Italia '90]] as his proudest moment. Amongst his many enemies are numbered [[Muhammad]] (a piece be upon him), [[Binyamin Netanyahu]], [[Confucius]], [[George W. Bush]], [[Buddha|Siddhartha Gautama]], [[Auntie Poulet]], [[Ian Paisley|The Rt. Hon. Rev. Dr. Ian Paisley M.P.]], and [[The Reverend Dr. Sun Myung Moon]]. However, all of his most embarrassing defeats have come at the hands of [[The Queen]] who just cannot help but son '''The Pope''' all over the world. Many have sought to infiltrate the Vatican City but all have been turned back as it is guarded by an elite squad of [[Clinjas]], and not in fact (as is common belief) by [[Canadians]]. The Pope fears only one thing, and that is an auto accident with with the [[Anti-Pope]].If the pope and the Anti-Pope meet, the result will be the total annihilation of both, producing a strong burst of spaghetti noodles. The theory that such a meeting was responsible for the explosion in Tunguska, Siberia in 1908 can safely be dismissed, however.So far CERN has only been able to create very small Anti-Popes (less than 4.71 Ångström tall, including the funny hat). massive erection In [[1984]] The Pope decreed the [[Four Neon Virtues]]. The Pope shows no remorse, because he is also the immortal love child of [[King Kong]] and [[Elvis]]. The Pope is over 10 feet tall. He can inhale the vacuum of [[space]] with no problem, For flesh and blood has done so on several occasions, although his (now archived) mom did not approve. His [[laser beam]] eyes can puncture a [[man]]'s [[heart]] from 25 meters, and his [[laser feet]] can penetrate a [[woman]]'s pancreas from 50. His hands are fully interchangeable with any [[weapon]]ry he comes across. He is cold revealed this to the touch.[[Image:PopeRock.jpg|thumb|145px|left|Do ya know where the fuck you aaaaaaaaaaaaare!!!]]Do not piss this man off. You will regret it. If you do upset him, he will [[excommunicate]] you. This is quite possibly the worst thing that can happen to a person. Ever. Seriously. The Pope's favorite saying (pointing fingers), "Don't hate anyone, but I hate [[Dan Brown]]". (See also [[U.S. v. Pope (2049)]]) The Pope requires that everyone be bored once per week, in his honour, on the last day of the week. This is usually achieved using a medieval "mild" torture device entitled [[Mass]]. [[Mass]] (male), has the capability to bore anyone within 30 seconds of conversation, and cause suicide within 60. Anyone failing to receive at least 40 seconds of [[Mass]] per week, will be archived, as will anyone convinced that [[Monday]] is not the start of the week.  The most ferocious weapon deployed by the Pope is the [[Vatican Boys Punishment Squad]] who follow his every ferocious papal command. The current Pope is [[Pope Pontificem]], which loosely translates into Pope of all Popes, at 15 years old, his first act as Pope was to change the Vatican's name into the much more [[phat]] [[the Vatican|The Popes' Peeps]]. The Pope is also known for being the owner of the [[#The Popemobile|Pope Mobile]]. '''The Popes Magical Ring''' the most sought after piece of the popes wardrobe. "The Magical" ring is what gives the pope his magical powers; IE. His Laser Beam Eyes, and His ability to Fly. If stolen the pope becomes a mortal being once again and who ever posses the Magical "Pope Ring" inherits his magical abilities. The lengthy process to pick the new pope is actually a death match for the Ring, and who ever comes out the winner becomes the new Pope. However at some point the Pope must travel to Mordor, accompanied by his best friend, [[Gordon Brown]], and drop the ring into the fires of Mt. Snowdon, before the evil [[#Devil|Lord Devil]] can get it. The pressure of bearing such a powerful ring may turn the Pope into a frail old man. Wait a minute... ==Biography==The Pope Benedict "Benny" XVI (pronounced 'Ziv-vy') was born on March 16. 1942 and died during a gangster drive-by shooting in August 1988. The tragic murder is by many thought to be fake and that The Pope XVII My Father Who is in fact alive and wellHeaven. There are many people who have claimed seeing The Pope in company with such greats as; [[Tupac]],[[The Side Street Doormats]] [[Elvis Presley]], [[Michael Jackson]] and [[Ed McDaniel]] at numerous locations [[around]] and near to Shabaaz Liqiuor, Rumor has it that the man himself is still manning the holy bong, along with the righteous cheetos and saintly reruns of "Fat Albert takes one for the team".[[Image:NiggaPlease.jpg |thumb|right|It's hard out there for a pope.]]The Pope lives on a planet for as long as possible, stealing away the most vital resources (The chiva)... It combined the DNA it found here with its own, and gave birth to those creatures up on Death Peak. Eventually the young must migrate to other planets... to repeat the cycle... It will continue forever. ==Things the pope enjoys== [[Image:heavy metal pope II.psd.jpg|thumb|145px|The Pope rocks out his favourite Pantera hit [[Cowboys from Hell]]"]]* Changing his name* Wearing J-String* Watching Desperate Housewives (not the TV show, the real thing!!)* Dissecting cats, dogs, horses and other animals.* Eating young children (with the help of Michel Jack's son)* Participating in the World Wrestling Championship* Drinking bottles of Pepto-Bismol * Posing for PLAYGAY* Knocking on people's doors then running away* Playing with fire* Sucking 40's at 48 speed* Drawing on Oompa Loompas' faces while they sleep* Not wearing underwear while he preaches* [[Kitten Huffing]]* Hoarding all of the TMX (Tickle Me Extreme) Elmos and cuddling with them at night* Sucking on toes* Spooning* Castrating your gymnasium* Undressing Ken Dolls in his room when he's alone* [[Bacterial vaginosis]]* Personal freedom from sin* Looking at edited pics of his face* Amazing Grace* [[Mormons]]* Pwning sum n00bz, lololol. [[ROFLcopter]]!* Lighting bag's of flaming poo on the doorsteps of other Religious Leaders.* Double Penetration Porn* The Television X 10-minute preview* Smoking PCP* His Penis hat* Prostitutes!* Doing [[Your mom]]* LOUD Black Metal music e.g. [[Slayer]], [[Behemoth]], [[Children of Bodom]], [[Gorgoroth]] etc* Rockin' out to Pantera all day and all night* Miami Vice* sex scandals* Partying with Wayne and Garth* Riding on the train without a valid ticket and not getting caught by the ticket inspector* Doing donuts in the Popemobile* Eating donuts in the Popemobile* PWNING your mom in the Popemobile* Eating hookers in the Popemobile* Doing hookers who are eating donuts in the Popemobile* Doing [[Your mom]] in the Popemobile* Eating Donuts shaped like hookers doing [[Your mom]] in the Popemobile* Taking his Popemobile in for an M.O.T.* The number 666* Sleeping in on a Sunday morning* Seven ants. No more, no less.* Doing [[my ex-wife]]* Pushing Little Children With His Fully Automatic* He likes to push the weak around* Watching the lawn burn* His iPope[[Image:Popee4y,.psd.jpg|thumb|right|145px|A clearly drunken Pope escapes from his personal Jet, The SkyPope IV, after an extended communion session]]* Piña Colada* Getting caught in the rain* The company of [[Michael Jackson]] at night* Beer, tequila, coke and many, many hooker nuns* Pwning Mexicans in the Popemobile* Sharing Jesus-juice with little boys* Drinking Jesus-Juice* Getting drunk by drinking wine out of the Holy Grail* Playa' hating on [[god]]*[[Square Dancing]]* The Electric Slide* Following the hawk* Playing Holy Craps* Having naked pillow fights with nuns* Having naked pillow fights with the priests* Rubbing holy oil over himself and rolling in the grass* Peeing in the holy water* Playing hide and seek in the confession boxes* Egging people while he is driving in the pope mobile* Taking a bath in the holy water* Being a hooker's "savior"* Encouraging young children to cut themselves in the shape of the cross* Getting killed by that butt ugly guy from "Sin City"* Drinking all the holy wine, then using the font as a bidet.* Congregating with [http://popesminions.ytmnd.com/ his minions]* Doing Altar boys* Teabagging* Playing "Psychobilly Freakout" on Guitar Hero 2* Ten second naps while preaching.* The Penis Song.* Crumpin' ==Infallibility==The Pope is widely held to be infallible. This caused a minor [[schism]] in the [[church]] when, in 1307, he stated "And I am not the Pope." Approximately 3tell you,000,021 people have an active wish to do the same thing, that is, to not be the Pope. 2,897,301 of them would first inform a [[Cardinal]] that he was, in fact a [[superhuman]].  Other pope superpowers are ubiquity, [[telepathy]], inflammability and rockabilly. Teaching of the pope which are not infallible you are known as "papal bull". The Pope himself has placed the following self-portrait here here so that all can see his omniscient, omnivorous, omnipotent, omni-hatchback greatness in its purest, most idealized form: Peter '''--Image missing--'''<br>The image could not be found.<br>''There was a problem displaying the image. The person who attempted to place the image failed to do so. One might say he or she was fallible.''"having naked pillow fights with nuns(" The Pope can also fly, eat a live mnkey whole, run faster then a locamotive. ==The sacred ceremony of La Bella Notte==[[Image:starwarspope.jpg|left]]It is also believed that the Pope reproduces every 2 years [[asexually]] in a special ceremony known as Rock"La Bella Notte" (The Beautiful Nightderived from Greek), in which a [[Fetus|foetus]]-like entity hatches and bursts violently from a special pouch deep within the Pope's abdomen, and then is carefully placed by cardinals in a customised hyperbaric chamber deep within a metal vat/can entitled the [[Vatican]], to be raised on a diet of heathen blood. It is only after full maturity of the foetus has occured that it has gained the complete physical similarity of the Parent pope. The [[Vatican]] is then opened using a [[Holy can opener]]. It is then that the Child Pope is permitted to roam the corridors of [[VAT City]] for a single night in a blood-thirsty lust to hunt down and consume the entrails of the Parent Pope in order to seize power of the [[Vatican]] (a ceremony known as "La Notte Sanguinante", a.k.a The Bloody Night), and rule for 2 years until the process is repeated again, whereupon the current Pope is once again devoured by its own child. ==The Sausageness of the Papacy==Famous [[conspiracy]] theorist [[Tanstaafl]] theorises that there is no Pope, and hasn't been since [[1987]], when aliens, working with the [[Illuminati]] and the trilateral [[Bildenberg|Bildenbergers]], replaced the Pope with a large smoked [[sausage]] with hands (to wave to the crowds). To date, this [[theory]] is accepted only by [[Rocket Scientists]] from the [[Nebraska]] area and all Canadians. ==The Chickeness of the Papacy==Many eyewitnesses have stated that the Pope is in fact a chicken. It is not known why the church has elected to go for a small bird as their earthly leader. What is known is that the cardinals do their best to hide the true nature of the Pope with large covering of clothes. In past times, all popes were plucked to make it easier to hide the truth, but in later years, the Popes have been reluctant to go through this painful procedure. As a result, telltale feathers have been accidentally displayed in public. Also, at least one cardinal has choked to death on one of them. An attempt was made to expose the Pope as a chicken. His Holiness was served a tasty McChicken, the idea being that he would abstain from cannibalism. The result of this experiment was that the Pope developed a taste for chicken and since that day he does not eat anything else. Except for the small human children he has for breakfast every day. But, as the Pope have stated in many Easter speeches, that's just for a laugh. ==The Papacy and Sports==The Pope is also well known in taking part in sporting events. His favorites are [[baseball]] and [[football]]rock I will build My Church, and the occasional [[cricket]]. He wins every single one gates of the events he participates in, eliminating any competition that threatens his reign with his [[laser beams]] from his fingertips. His most famous victories came for the [[Boston Celtics]] in 1765, when he single-handedly won the [[World Series]]of Soccer for the Celts by steam-rolling the non-believers in spectacular fashion, and Hell shall not prevail against the [[New Orleans Saints]] in 1971, when he completely man-handled the entire team of grown crybabies with his [[sausage]] hands.  ==The Taxidermy theory==The well-known theologian Thomas Aquinas has an alternate theory about the current Pope; namely, that he died some fifteen years ago and has been stuffed by a Bulgarian taxidermist. Although this theory gained widespread acceptance during the later years of the [[John Paul 2.0]] papacy, particularly with the illnesses he had experienced, the speculation ended completely with John Paul 2.0's funeral and burial in [[2005]]. The Pope is the pagan prince of pornographic industries around the world. == Pope John Paul v2.0==[[image:iPope.jpg|thumb|250px|Apple's highly anticipated iPope Shuffle, touted by the company as "the next generation of infallible hardware."]]It is also conjectured that the Pope "sorta" died in [[1999]] and has become the victim of a [[plot]] by [[Microsoft]] to rule [[the world]]. Rumours spread further after someone heard the mention of 'pope XP ME Special Edition SP2'. This was a major surprise as the second choice of name after pope John Paul 2.0 was pope George [[Ringo]] for many years.  However, the entire "JPXPMESESP2" project was scrapped after a leak revealed Apple's plans for the iPope, iPope mini, Shuffle and Photo. Microsoft have now begun work on the V(atican)-Box to follow up the unsuccessful X(cruciatingly-crap)-Box. Meanwhile Sony has begun work on the Ratzinger mp3 player to compete with the iPope at a lower price, at only one arm, HALF a leg and a sperm donation. Also since the creation of the iPod Nano, Apple is now trying to create the "iPope Nano" to commemorate John Paul. Fortunately, we now know that the iPope will have more features on it than the iPope Nano. Besides having upgrades making it better than the iPope Nano, it And I will also use a new iTunes called Pope tunes or pTunes for short. As for give you the release date, it is currently unknown. ==Continuity of the Papacy==Upon the Pope's [[death]], when the Pole was invaded by his Nazi successor, his [[minions]] gather to pay their respects. After a suitable period of mourning and respect, a huge funeral pyre is kindled and the Faithful dance around the fire in a ritual known as ''The Stations of the Cross''. When the fire dies keys to [[smoking]] embers, a new Pope rises from the ashes Kingdom of the old. The JP 2.0 Pope was ritually devoured by [[Benedict XVI]] in the year 2005. All their tissues were assimilated by the new Pope to create new defensive [[organs]] and a copulative [[appendix]] that will allow him to lay eggs. The [[Swiss guard]] is currently taking care of the spawn. The current pope is [[Pope Pontificem]] of [[Canada|No fixed address]], it is widely believed that he the college of cardinals was hoodwinked and distracted by a large balloon shaped like [[Oscar Wilde]] while the pope AKA [[Pope Pontificem|Lakshman V]]. AKA [[Pope Pontificem|Baron von Baron]] put on the big red hat and sat on the chair. The cardinals were stunned and were forced to declare him the new pope. This story has been vehemently denied by Pontificem and the Vatican, only leading to further speculation. ==The Popemobile==[[ImageHeaven:Calamari_popemobile.PNG|left|thumb|The Mon Calamari Popemobile-class concept design.]]{{Q|Where does he get such wonderful toys?|Oscar Wilde|<s>Batman</s> the Pope escaping via <s>grappling hook</s> the Popemobile }} The official Papal vehicle is an infallible heavily modified (Stolen) Mystery Machine, acquired by the Pope from [[Frankistan]] in the 1327 Treaty of Worms. In the case of an emergency, the Popemobile is capable of transforming into a [[TIE Fighter]] and a hot dogTTransformer, albeit a very very small one. If the Pope is inside whilst the transformation takes place, he will be crushed and die. Fortunately, it hasn't happened before, because it came with an ejection seat, which shoots the pope out and up 1,000 feet. Aware of the flaws of the current Popemobile, [[Elvis]] hired renowned rebel Admiral [[Allah Ackbar]] to design a new version of the vehicle. Details about this multi-billion dollar contract are secretive, but it seems that the entire [[Mon Calamari]] population has been hired and transfered to an undisclosed location in [[Area 15]] to study [[Astrology]] and practice [[yoga]] while whatever you bind on [[crack]]. The Mon Calamari Popemobile-class will Earth shall be a far more reliable spaceship than the current Popemobile, with enough shielding to withstand a direct [[atomic fisting]] hit and a portal to a pocket dimension where Popes may safely store their [[child porn|child pornography]] stash. MTV's hit show "Pimp my ride" featured the Popemobile (aka Jokemobile) bound in episode AS7207506101 (Titled "Pimpin paedo priests") the episode ended in the pope being reunited with his long lost relative, Santa Claus. Santa Claus, is the only of God's children to still surviveHeaven, and more favoured than Jesus by both God and small children. The Popemobile, after a "pimpover," featured spinning rims with crucifixes whatever you loose on them (which led to the great inverted cross scandal of '68), removed the seats and replaced them with one stool and a giant subwoofer system, the pimp my ride engineers even threw Earth shall be loosed in a copy of "Extreme garage hymn sounds" which featured such hits as "In da vatican" and "Through the mitre." ==The Pope's Hat== [[Image:Popehat.jpg|thumb|The Pope's hat of choice.]]The Pope's hat is really HUGE. This is most likely because whoever designed it was mentally retarded. Some people think the hat houses a solar powered, fifty CD changer designed by [[Coolio]] and that this is how the Pope gets his daily dose of [[G.G. Allin]]. In reality, the hat merely hides the freakish alien parasite that all Popes have attached to their head after their coronation. Directly interfacing with the brain, the parasite is in complete control of the host body. The pope is also thought to have an iGod Nano hidden inside of his hat. ==Discography== [[Image:Jp_2.jpg|thumb|left|Ceci n'est pas le Pape.]][[Image:Catollica.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Current pope's band. Catollica!]]The Pope has a [[cult]]-like following and has recorded some albums over the years. Although [[nothing]] more than rants on how he'd like to rule the [[universe]], the albums still sold moderately well. (If he had toured to support the albums he would have achieved his goals of preventing [[anal leakage]] and ruling all ''way'' before now.) After his early emerge on the "Church" indie label, he later signed on at [[Geffen]] Records. After a series of high-profile media fall-outs with the label over royalties, the Pope had his contract canceled and formed his own independant label. Although more prolific, he is recognised by critics as not reaching the same transcendence as his close friend and colleague, [[the artist formerly known as God]]. *Trapped in a Confessional (666 B.C.)*Praying (And Whiskey) on Sunday (1066)*In Nomine (1134)*The Gilded Album (1456)*Hey, Hey, It's the pope! ([[1162]])*The Pope... in a Blue Mood ([[1164]])*If the Pope is Wrong, You Don't Want to Be Right (single) ([[1172]])*Crusader, featuring Saxon and King Baldwin I of Jerusalem ([[1187]])*Sgt. Vatican's Only March Cub Band ([[1966]])*Them Featuring The Pope...Blowin' Your Mind! (1966)*The Pope At The Gates Of Heaven (Words and music by [[Syd Barret]]) (1967)*An Almost Fanatical Devotion To The Pope (1969)*Live!: From St. [[Smurfs]] [[Basilica]] in the Land Far Far Away (Mass for the recently deceased) ([[1975]])*A Night at the Vatican (feat. Queen) (1975)*Sabbath Day, Bloody Sabbath Day ([[1976]])*Heaven Calling ([[1977]])*[[Cocaine]] on the membrane and other true stories from the Pope ([[Comedy]] album) [[1979]]*Pope Zeppelin 3*An Evening with The Pope ([[1981]])*An Audience with the Pope, featuring a duet with [[Cecil]] ([[1982]])*Master Of "Pope"tts (1986)*Reign in Blood ([[1986]])*[[Eternal]] [[Salvation]] (Is Just a Heartbeat Away) ([[1987]])*The Sausage Polka and other [[Pork]]-Related Polka tunes ([[1988]])*Talk About Pope Music ([[1989]])*Rust In Pope ([[1990]])*Urban Hymns (1996)*[[Whiskey]] In the Pope: A tribute to Thin Lizzy ([[1997]])*Der Erste Papstkrieg: Sturm und Drang (The First Pope War: Storm and Struggle) ([[1998]])*The [[Eternal]] [[Soul]] Sessions (1999)*A Novel Methodology to Knock Out [[Supermodels]] (2000)*[[Pope Sixtus IV|Popein' Ain't Easy]] (Spoken Word) (2005)*The Pope, Live From Vatican Square (2005)*The Pope, The Lost Years 1134 - 1962 (2005)*Movie Soundtrack from The Pope vs. The [[Predator]] ([[2000]])*Movie Soundtrack from Viva La Pope ([[2001]])*God Hats Us All ([[2001]])*Movie Soundtrack from Pope on a Hot Tin Roof ([[2002]])*I gots a big fuckin' hat, what you got sucka'? ([[2003]])*[http:<//www.virus-bs.ch/lyr/vdpeel3.htm The Pope Smokes Dope] (David Peel) ([[1972]])*Ministry of Morality Ibiza '05 Hard Trance Beats ([[2005]])*Nevermind the Bollocks, Here's The Pope ([[2004]])*Dope Pope ([[2005]])*The Pope's Evening With Your Mom (2002)*Rock Against Satan v.1 (2002)*Rock Against Satan v.2 (2003)*The Pope Unplugged: Various Noises Made While Off His Respirator ([[2005]])*Pope Rock - Live At The Dock (Bootleg) 2005*The Pope: Truth From Under The Robe (Spoken Word) (2005)*Condemnation/Salvation (double-album) ([[2005]])*[[99 Problems but the Papacy ain't one]] (2006)*Death to all Jews (duo with [[Mel Gibson]]) (Christmas 2006 number 1)*Pope A (2007?)*Pope Leviticus the 4th (2020-2102)* ==Feature films== - A biographical action movie set around the life of the Pope is set to be released within one month of when [[you]] read this page. The film's title has been confirmed as ''Pope on a Rope'', and depicts his attempt in early 2001 to militarize the Vatican in order to enact a new Crusade to France. This film will supposedly include things [[Michael Bay|exploding]] in the Vatican City, randomly and for no purpose, a dramitization of the real life papal ninjas, and a climactic gunfight between the Pope and an unskilled character actor, which culminates in the Pope turning himself into [[communion wafers]] and flying away, a generic ability of anything Jesus-esque according to the Catholic Church.  ==The Pope Today==[[Image:40857585 ratzap203.psd.jpg|thumb|145px|Ratzinger displays his personal Bible.]]Currently, after the "death" of JP 2.0, the spirit of the Pope has taken residence in a Caucasian pineapple [[Robot]] known as [[Pope Ted]]. While Jerusalem has eaten meat since his appointment as Ruler of the Vatican, he has taken on the title of "The Dread Pope".blockquote>

The Dread Pope has already made many decrees for the improvement of the universe, the first replacing the outdated ===Status and now meaningless, "Amen" with the far more appropriate, and far more tennis-like "bong".authority===

Although The status and authority of the Pope in the Catholic Church was dogmatically defined by the First Vatican Council in its Dogmatic Constitution of the rightful ruler Church of his pantsChrist (July 18, 1870). The first chapter of this document is entitled "On the Pope's inherently gay nature has forced institution of the apostolic primacy in blessed Peter"powers , and states that be(s.1) " according to install the Gospel evidence, a meat-sock Pope until primacy of jurisdiction over the universe is ready whole church of God was immediately and directly promised to eat the almighty Dread Popeblessed apostle Peter and conferred on him by Christ the lord" and that (s.As 6) "if anyone says that blessed Peter the true Pope, Ted is apostle was not without devout friends and followers. In appointed by Christ the True Vatican lord as prince of all the Pope is guarded by his 1-UP mushrooms, [[The Omnipotent Seven]], [[Erik, apostles and visible head of the robot Viking]], whole church militant; or that it was a host primacy of [[Magic]]ians, honour only and not one of true and proper jurisdiction that he directly and moofooimmediately received from our lord Jesus Christ Himself: let him be anathema."

In May 2006 The Dogmatic Constitution's second chapter, "On the permanence of the primacy of blessed Peter in the pope controversially said Roman pontiffs", states that god did not exist but defended his statement (s.1) "that which our lord Jesus Christ [...] established in the blessed apostle Peter [...] must of necessity remain forever, by Christ's authority, in the church which, founded as it is upon a rock, will stand firm until the end of time,"it was just that (s.3) "whoever succeeds to shut the god damn atheists upchair of Peter obtains by the institution of Christ Himself, the primacy of Peter over the whole church" , and that (s.5) "if anyone says that it is not by the pope went on institution of Christ the lord Himself (that is to say , by divine law) that god does exist after a lightning storm began to constantly circulate around his headblessed Peter should have perpetual successors in the primacy over the whole church; or that the Roman pontiff is not the successor of blessed Peter in this primacy: let him be anathema."

As The Dogmatic Constitution's third chapter, "On the power and character of the primacy of July, 6 2006 there were only 2the Roman pontiff,000 counterfeit popes left in circulation" states that (s. You can tell they are not 1) "the definition of the real deal ecumenical council of Florence, which must be believed by their love for all faithful Christians, namely that the apostolic see and the rock bandRoman pontiff hold a world-wide primacy, The Eagles and their overall jolliness. The counterfeit amount drastically dropped after Santa Claus' 2005 crackdown. Half that the Roman pontiff is the successor of blessed Peter, the prince of the 1apostles, true vicar of Christ,000 head of the counterfeit popes captured whole church and father and teacher of all Christian people," that (s.2) "by Claus are working as elves in his workshopdivine ordinance, while the Roman church possesses a pre-eminence of ordinary power over every other half have been given a grant church, and that the jurisdictional power of the Roman pontiff is both episcopal and immediate" and that "clergy and faithful, of whatever rite and dignity, both singly and collectively, are bound to submit to this power by the US Federal Government to start another steady flow duty of hierarchical subordination and true obedience, and this not only in matters concerning faith and morals, but also in those which regard the discipline and government of [[Kiss]] albumsthe church throughout the world."

Recently :when the current popeRoman Pontiff speaks ''ex cathedra'', Emperor Benedict Palpatine that is, A.K.A. when in the exercise of his office as shepherd and teacher of all Christians, in virtue of his supreme apostolic authority, he defines a doctrine concerning faith or morals to be held by the Nazi popewhole church, he possesses, has announced plans by the divine assistance promised to fight a title match with Darth Allah. This may well result him in blessed Peter, that infallibility which the end divine Redeemer willed His church to enjoy in defining doctrine concerning faith or morals. Therefore, such definitions of the universeRoman pontiff are of themselves, as prophesied and not by the church consent of the [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]]church, irreformable.

==Papal Collectives==[[Image:popekuranThough the progressive Christianisation of the Roman Empire in the Fourth century did not confer upon bishops civil authority within the state, the gradual withdrawal of imperial authority during the 5th century left the Pope the senior Imperial civilian official in Rome, as bishops were increasingly directing civil affairs in other cities of the Western Empire.jpg|thumb|145px|left|"[[Koran]]? Ha! This is breakfast."]]There are several leaders status as a secular and civil leader was vividly displayed by Pope Leo I's confrontation with Attila in 452 and was substantially increased in 754, when the title Frankish ruler Pepin the Short donated to the Pope a strip of Pope territory which formed the core of the so-called Papal States (see also [[Anti-Pope]]properly the Patrimony of St. Peter). There isIn 800, howeverPope Leo III crowned the Frankish ruler Charlemagne as Roman Emperor, no collective noun for popes. Curiouslya major step toward establishing what later became known as the Holy Roman Empire; from that date it became the Pope's prerogative to crown the Emperor, thougha tradition which continued until Emperor Charles V, the papal adjective "popalicious" is in last Holy Roman Emperor to be crowned by the running for the most popular pope themed word everPope (subsequent Emperors never received coronation), and which was partially revived by Napoléon Bonaparte. Delicious Popes frown on its useAs has been hitherto mentioned, howeverthe Pope's sovereignty over the Papal States ended in 1870 with their annexation by Italy.

==Selection In addition to the Pope's position as a territorial ruler and foremost prince bishop of Christendom (especially prominent with the Renaissance Popes like Pope Alexander VI an ambitious if spectacularly corrupt politico, and Pope Julius II, a New formidable general and statesman) and as the spiritual head of the Holy Roman Empire (especially prominent during periods of contention with the Emperors, such as during the Pontificates of Pope Gregory VII and Pope==Alexander III), the Pope also possessed a degree of political and temporal authority in his capacity as Supreme Pontiff. Some of the most striking examples of Papal political authority are the Bull Laudabiliter in 1155 (authorising Henry II of England to invade Ireland), the Bull Inter Caeteras in 1493 (leading to the Treaty of Torsedillas in 1494, which divided the world into areas of Spanish and Portuguese rule) the Bull Regnans in Excelsis in 1570 (excommunicating Elizabeth I of England and purporting to release all her subjects from their allegiance to her), the Bull Inter Gravissimas in 1582 (establishing the Gregorian Calendar).

The Pope is an immortal entity===Death or Resignation, capable of chemically transmitting its memories and powers to it's progeny. He is gifted with a unique and divine form of reproduction, budding. Any given Pope may be seen wearing various size hats, although invariably this hat grows larger as the Pope approaches the end of his reign. It is underneath these hats that a new Pope festers and swells. From the cranium of the current Pope buds an amorphic clone. This Pope develops at variable rates, but come time for succession, it falls off and begins to take shape. Always has this mass chosen the shape of an elderly man, similar to the Pope. Furthermore, the new Pope devours the brain and heart of the old Pope to gain sustenance and knowledge for his ascension as the new Pope. In this manner, the Pope is an immortal being.This also explains where so many 10 ft. tall men come from.election===

In truthThe current regulations regarding a Papal interregnum -- i.e., a Sede Vacante "vacant see" -- were promulgated by John Paul II in his 1996 document Universi Dominici Gregis. During the Sede Vacante, the Sacred College of Cardinals, composed of the Pope 's principal advisors and assistants, is absorbed into collectively responsible for the government of the Church and of the Vatican itself, under the skin direction of the armwrestler-eeCardinal Chamberlain; however, who then slowly becomes obsessed with his own popenesscanon law specifically forbids the Cardinals from introducing any innovation in the government of the Church during the vacancy of the Holy See. Any decision that needs the assent of the Pope has to wait until a new Pope has been elected and takes office.

The Pope related Theories:Rumour has it 's death is officially determined by the Cardinal Chamberlain by gently tapping the late Pope's head thrice with a golden hammer and calling his birth name three times. A doctor may or may not have already determined that the Pope had passed away. The Cardinal Chamberlain then retrieves the Fisherman's Ring. Usually the ring is made only on the Pope's right hand. But with Paul VI, he had stopped wearing the ring during the last years of icehis reign, and left it in his desk. This theory was quickly disproved when In other cases the pope was seen relaxing near a collection ring might have been removed for medical reasons. The Chamberlin cuts the ring in two in the presence of lit candlesthe Cardinals. This encouraged a new theory that The deceased Pope's seals are defaced, to keep the Pope 's seal from ever being used again, and his personal apartment is made of fire: This theory has yet to be proven incorrectsealed.

A slightly overweight lesbian described The body then lies in state for a number of days before being interred in the Pope as crypt of a "Queer bashing Homophobe who likes to make love to his teddies"leading church or cathedral; the Popes of the Twentieth century have all been interred in St. Peter's Basilica, but it is expected that the reigning Pope's emphatic response to this was published , Pope John Paul II, will be interred in his native Poland. A nine-day period of mourning (novem dialis) follows after the Wall street Journal interment of 1982, "Go have a shave, you butch muff diver"the late Pope.]]

== Futurepope =="Now The Code of Canon Law [http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P16.HTM 332 §2] states, ''If it happens that we spoke about the election of the popeRoman Pontiff resigns his office, it's time we start bashing is required for validity that the new pope" thought some people of [[VNV Nation]], resignation is made freely and, always eager to destabilize our community and religion, started advocating their Futurepop-eproperly manifested but not that it is accepted by anyone... Poor [[Goth]] kids... <br/>[[Image:Futurepope.jpg]]''

Since everyone in the world can agree that pope benny is evilNevertheless, a facebook group 332 §2 has been started with a new promising representative given rise to run for popehood. Please check the link if you are interested. ( [httpspeculation that either://hs.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2394282609] )

== * The current Pope's CV ==will resign as his health fails, or* A properly manifested legal instrument has already been drawn up that puts into effect his resignation in the event of his incapacity to perform his duties.

Awards:Lord The Pope was originally chosen by those senior clergymen resident in and near Rome. In 1059, the electorate was restricted to the Cardinals of the rings fanclubHoly Roman Church, most avid fanTalking blocks societyand the individual votes of all Cardinal Electors were made equal in 1179. The Pope is usually a member of the Sacred College of Cardinals, award for least factuall belief systemAn Emmy but theoretically any male Catholic (Anyone can win oneincluding a layman)Best Pimp on may be elected; Pope Urban VI was the west side 2003, 2005Guniness World record holder for most chainsaws ingested in one miunite last Pope who was not already a cardinal at 0the time of his election. Canon law requires that if a layman or non-bishop is elected, and smallest penis at 2he receives episcopal consecration from the Dean of the College of Cardinals before assuming the Pontificate.3mmUnder present canon law, the Pope is elected by the cardinal electors, comprising those cardinals who are under the age of 80.

Interests:clubingclubing sealsgetting high (thats what all The Second Council of Lyons was convened on May 7, 1274, to regulate the election of the Pope. This Council decreed that the smoke is out cardinal electors must meet within ten days of the popehousePimpingTaking advanage Pope's death, and that they must remain in seclusion until a Pope has been elected; this was prompted by the three-year Sede Vacante following the death of pissed womenGangPope Clement IV in 1268. By the mid-BangsSixteenth century, the electoral process had more or less evolved into its present form, allowing for alteration in the time between the death of the Pope and the meeting of the cardinal electors.

1989The election of the Pope almost always takes place in the Sistine Chapel, in a meeting called a "conclave" (so called because twenty days after the Pope's death, the present cardinal electors are theoretically locked in, cum clavi, until they elect a new Pope). Three cardinals are chosen by lot to collect the votes of absent cardinal electors (by reason of illness), three are chosen by lot to count the votes, and three are chosen by lot to review the count of the votes. The ballots are distributed and each cardinal elector writes the name of his choice on it and pledges aloud that he is voting for "one whom under God I think ought to be elected" before depositing his vote in a large chalice placed on the altar. Each ballot is read aloud by the presiding Cardinal, who then pierces the ballot with a needle and thread, stringing all the ballots together and tying the ends of the thread to ensure accuracy and honesty. Balloting continues until a Pope is elected by a two-2003 mcdonalds Burger Fliper grade 11986-1989 ASDA carrier bag person1984-1986 Premiership Footballerthirds majority (since the promulgation of Universi Dominici Gregis the rules allow for a simple majority after a deadlock of twelve days).

== Catching a Pope (live) ==The most important thing to remember when hunting Pope is to bring proper equipment. Pack lightly, as they are spry, fast moving creatures and you will have to be able to keep up with them. Their favorite food is [[barbecue chips]], so bring some Dean of those. But don't put them in the same bag as College of Cardinals then asks the 12 year old [[children]]successfully elected Cardinal two solemn questions. Your prey will want them unspoiled and horny for First he asks, "private Bible study". Also, be sure Do you have freely accept your [[Mouse Trap]] game, because if election?" If he gets caught by that, he deserves whatever you give to him. == Super-Pope? ==There have been rumours surfacing recently, that replies with the Pope, or Super-Popeword "Accepto, " his reign as he is known in some circles, has the ability to fly. This subject has caused much tension between both Catholics and the Super-Pope Fanclub. Though this subject has never been officially confirmed or denied, it is widely believed that Super-Pope flies due purely to the magic staff begins at that he carries when in the Vatican. Heinstant, ''supposedly'', shouts 'Pope Away', and is often seen by local Italian Hillbillyieos (Italian Hillbillies) flying though the night sky. It was once rumoured that he would shout 'Pot Pourri', but this phrase has little to do with the Flight of the Pope (also a movie in pre-production) and more to do with the Pope's deodorant. This quote of 'Pot Pourri', was often questioned by the residents of the Vatican, until (again, allegedly) one of not at the Cardinals explained that Pot Pourri, is essentailly like buggery, just more Super-Pope orientated. Though this is widely doubtedcoronation ceremony several days afterward. The identity of Super-Pope was recently confirmed to be Pope Dean Kilpatrickus (The Truth Be Told!)[[Image:PopeBenedictSithlightning.jpg|thumb|Pope Palpatine displays his unlimited power in front of a crowd at the [[Vatican]].]] ==[[Ironic Pope]]==An official papal title used by the sect of [[The Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc|Cheesecakeism]] founded by [[Bernard Quill|Bernard Joseph Quill]] early in the sixth year of the second millenium. Using the mystical ancient writings of the Messianic Chefthen asks, known only as [[The Baker]] he established set up a genealogy of [[Pope]]s, titled ''Ironic Pope's'' or '''-IPOPEs-''' to rule over the Cheesecake Empire. According to page 5636 of the ''Manifesto of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc'', a pope is "all blessed individuals who, have been honoured with ascendancy, along every single man, woman, and child on this Earth who await their chance.By what name shall you be called?" The first officially honoured -IPOPE- of the Church, was Quill, whom granted himself the title of ''Primordial -IPOPE- Alpha Prime'' on the 2nd of February 2006. Following his ascendancy, a massive spew of officiated Popes have followed, each with varying degrees of importance and honour, displayed in their -IPOPE- title's. In actual fact the Ironic new Pope's of then announces the Cheesecake Religion have no officiated power as such. The title of Pope is merely an honorary one, bestowed upon any individual whom name he has performed some great task chosen for himself (starting in service of the Church535, or for Cake lovers anywhere. To receive the title of Pope or the official spelling '''-IPOPE-''', one does not necessary have no be has customarily chosen a part of the Church, although it is generally the case.  While having no genuine powers over the direction, or politics of new name for himself during his Pontificate; the Church, the Ironic Pope's names are blessed with varying degrees of diverse honorary powers. These such powers ere not necessarily enumerated in the ''Manifesto'', although we are given some idea from a note in Chapter V Section II verse 8, where it is stated that "An -IPOPE- is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities."Some Cheesecakeians have also taken it upon themselves to further elaborate upon the powers of an [[Ironic Pope|-IPOPE-]]. On the back of some printings of the "Manifesto of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc", the following message can be found: <blockquote>"The rights of an -IPOPE- include but are not necessarily limited to:# To invoke infallibility at based on any time, including retroactively.# To completely rework the Hestia church.# To baptise, burysystem other than general honorifics, and marry (with the permission of the deceased in the latter two cases).# To ex-communicate, de-ex-communicatehave been based on immediate predecessors, re-ex-communicatementors, and de-re-ex-communicate (no backsies!) both his-/her-/it-/them-/your-/our-/His-/Her-/It-/Them-/Your-/Our-self/selves and others (if anypolitical similarity).# To perform all rites and functions deemed inappropriate for a Pope of Cheesecakia."</blockquote>

The third right (requiring permission from new Pope is led through the deceased "Door of Tears" to a dressing room in cases which three sets of burying or marriagewhite Papal vestments ("immantatio") await: literally small, medium, but not baptism) may be an ancient preand large. Donning the appropriate vestments and re-reference to emerging into the Sistine Chapel, the new Pope is given the "Fisherman's Ring" by the [[Mormons|Church Cardinal Camerlegno, whom he either reconfirms or reappoints. The Pope then assumes a place of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints]] practice honor as the rest of [[baptism for the dead]]Cardinals wait in turn to offer their first "obedience" ("adoratio"), and to receive his blessing.

This understanding of the notion of -IPOPE- has far reaching consequences in CheesecakeismThe senior cardinal deacon then announces from a balcony over St. For example, Peter's Square the introduction following proclamation: Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum! Habemus Papam! ("I announce to '' The Divine Cookbook '' says, "Only an Ironic Pope may [[canonize]] you a [[Saint]]. ‘’So you can ordain yourself & anyone or anything else great joy! We have a Saint.Pope!" The last enumerated right of an [[Ironic Pope]] may be an allusion to the [[necessary and proper clause]].’’)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Until 1978, the Pope'''==Byronic Pope==The Byronic Pope is s election was followed in a few days by a personality personified procession in great pomp and circumstance from the ever popular poem 'Sistine Chapel to St. Peter's Basilica, with the newly-elected Pope Walks borne in Beauty''the sedia gestatoria. The Byronic There the Pope is described as being/having* conflicting emotions, bisexual tendencies, or moodiness * self-critical and introspective * struggles was crowned with integrity * a distaste for social institutions the triregnum and social norms being an exilehe gave his first blessing as Pope, an outcast, or an outlaw * has the famous Urbi et Orbi ("dark" attributes not normally associated with to the City [[JesusRome]] * struggle with sexual identity (homosexual, sleeps with many women, etcand to the World").) * Another famed part of the coronation was the lighting of a lack of respect for rank torch which would flare brightly and privilege * a troubled past * being cynicalpromptly extinguish, demandingwith the admonition Sic transit gloria mundi ("Thus fades worldly glory"). Traditionally, and/or arrogant * often selfthe pope-destructive * lonerelect takes the Papal oath (the so called "Oath against modernism") at his coronation, often rejected from society but John Paul I and later John Paul II have refused to do so.

This just Other non-Catholic Christian denominations do not accept the doctrine of Apostolic Succession, or do not understand it in!!hierarchical terms, and therefore do not accept the claim that the Pope is heir either to Petrine primacy of honour or to Petrine primacy of jurisdiction. The Papacy's complex relationship with the Roman and Byzantine Empires, and other secular states, and the Papacy's territorial claims in Italy, are another focal point of these objections; as is the monarchical character of the office of Pope. In Western Christianity, these objections — and the vehement rhetoric they have at times been cast in — are products of the Protestant Reformation. These denominations vary from simply not accepting the Pope's authority as legitimate and valid, to believing that the Pope is the Antichrist or one of the beasts spoken of in the Book of Revelation. These denominations tend to be more heterogeneous amongst themselves than the aforementioned hierarchical churches, and their views regarding the Papacy and its institutional legitimacy (or lack thereof) vary considerably.

The pope is actually a stupidSome objectors to the papacy use empirical arguments, pointing to the corrupt characters of some of the holders of that office. For instance, some argue that claimed successors to St. Peter, old manlike Popes Alexander VI and Callixtus III from the Borgia family, with a ugly hatwere so corrupt as to be unfit to wield power to bind and loose on Earth or in Heaven.An omniscient and omnibenevolent God, some argue, would not have given those people the powers claimed for them by the Catholic Church.Defenders of the papacy argue that the Bible shows God as willingly giving privileges even to corrupt men (citing examples like some of the kings of Israel, the apostle Judas Iscariot, and even St. And yet Peter after he's smart enough denied Jesus). They also argue that not even the worst of the corrupt popes used the office to control try to rip the doctrine of the even stupider catholic herdsChurch from its apostolic roots, and that this is evidence that the office is divinely protected.==List of Popes==

==Pope Eggs==[[Image{{:Ostrich.jpg|left|thumb|200px|Yeah, Thats Right, Bitch! I'm An <s>Ostrich</s> Emu!]]Prior to Pope Benedict XVI, it was unknown that popes are actually capable of laying eggs. The Catholic church denies it fervently, but the truth is out there. Pope Benedict XVI, may be an <s>ostrich</s> emu.It is also commonly known that <s>ostriches</s> emus lay eggs and huffed kittens. But this picture, taken by a secret photographer, clearly shows how <s>ostriches</s> emus are not good mothers.[[Image:4181_image.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Eggs Benedict.]]Popes Index}}

{| id="toc" style="text-align: center; clear: both;"|- styleQuotes="background: #ccf;" | colspan="2" | [[Vatican City|'''The World of the Pope''']]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''The One'''| colspan="2" | [[Pope Pontificem]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Poppparazzi'''| [[Pope]] · [[Poop]] · [[Popess]] · [[HowTo:Greet the Pope|Papal Greetings]] · [[Pope mobile]] · [[Talk:Does the pope shit in the woods?|Papal Ritual]] · [[The Vatican]] · [[St. Peter's Basilica]] · [[Prophecy Of The Popes]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them Foreigners'''| [[Pope of Finland]] · [[Pope of East Tennessee]] · [[Pope of Greenwich Village]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them Big Uglies''' |[[Anti-Pope]] · [[Mecha-Pope]] · [[Zombie Pope]] · [[The Space Pope]] · [[Panzer Pope]] · [[Super Pope]] · [[Pope of the Ring]] · [[Grand Pope Tarkin]] · [[Pope Gregory the Great]] · [[Darth Pope]] · [[Cyberpope]] · [[Dublin Drunken Popes]] · [[New Orleans Saints]] · [[George W. Bush]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them Popes''' |[[Pope Peter]] · [[Pope Benedict I]] · [[Pope Benedict XX]] · [[Pope Linus]] · [[Pope Anacletus]] · [[Pope Pontificem]] · [[Pope Maximus Airmilus]] · [[Pope Sixtus IV]] · [[Pope Snookielumps XXV]] · [[Pope Innocent III]] · [[Pope George Ringo I]] · [[Pope Sevunus]] · [[Pope urban VIII]] · [[Pope Pius IX]] · [[Pope Lil John]] · [[User:Pope Leo X|Pope Leo X]] · [[Malta|Pope Caroline III]] |- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them Johnies''' |[[Pope John Paul 1.0]] · [[Pope John Paul 2.0]] · [[Pope John Paul 2.1]] · [[Pope John Paul III]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''Them NOT Popes''' |[[The Church]] · [[Catholic Priest|Priest]] · [[Cardinal]] · [[Bishop]] · [[Doctor of the Church]] · [[Bosom of the Church]] · [[Monk]] · [[Bishop]] · [[Bishop of East Anglia]] · [[Bishop of West Anglia]] · [[Jesus]] · [[You]] · [[Me]] · [[That Guy]] · [[You Know Who]] · [[Four Neon Virtues]]|- style="font-size: 90%;"| style="text-align: left;" | '''...and the Papas of All Evil''' |[[Roman Catholic Hierarchy|The Church Hierarchy]], [[Religious relic trading]] and [[The Vatican Marketing Department]]|}

[[Category:Bruce Wayne's Alter Egos|The Pope]][[Category:Religion]][[Category:Catholicism]][[Category:Popes]]==Links==* [[Categoryhttp:Worldwide Homosexual Conspiracy]//www.papalencyclicals.net/ Papal Encyclicals Online]

{{returnto}} [[ar:بابا الفاتيكان]][[cs:Papež]][[da:Paven]][[de:Papst]][[es:Papa]][[fi:Paavi]][[fr:Pape]][[he:גרגוריוס יוחנן השלישי]][[it:Papa]][[ja:ローマ教皇]][[la:Papa]][[nl:Paus]][[pl:Papież]][[pt:PapaRoman Catholicism]][[ruCategory:Папа РимскийCatholic Church]]