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''The [[church]] Bible'' is the body of believers of Jesus Christmost popular fantasy novel ever written. Its history The first main character is full of periods of struggle and renewal. Initiallya stuttering, the early Christians spread the good news of [[Jesus]] throughout the Roman empire and small congregations of Christians sprang up in many towns. [[Rome]] soon became the geographical centre of the church. In the early centuriesorphaned, debates about the nature of [[God]] caused great debatesJewish murderer named Moses, however who was raised by the church mostly stayed unified until Egyptian royalty. He leads a major rift finally occurred between the Church in Greece resistance and eventually escapes Egypt with his people, and then wanders around the one in Rome (it had slowly developed over centuries) culminating in desert for a schism in [[1054 AD]]. In the Middle Ageswhile, and after he dies his people in Christian lands formed armies go on to "defend" the Holy Lands of create Israel from Islamic controlwithout him. In He told people that he followed a god that was their god now, and they had to follow him or else. This god was so special because Moses said he created the mid second milleniumEarth some two thousand years before, there was over a renewal of awareness of the Bible spawning seven day period. Then his god put people on the Reformationearth, starting with Christians in northern Europe splitting from the Roman churcha guy, then eventually giving him a wife. In the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, missionary activity has spread the They [[gospelFun:Original sin|ate a fruit]] around when Moses' god told them not to, so he decided they should suffer and die by being kicked out of the worldparadise he made for them. Today Since there seems was no more paradise, this made carnivorous animals start to be a bewildering array eat other animals, all because of [[denominations]]us. Some of the larger ones include [[Roman Catholicism]], the [[Greek]] and Russian <ref> Now godless [[Eastern OrthodoxPaleontology|Orthodoxpaleontologists]] churches imagine they've found evidence of carnivorous animals eating other animals before humans existed. That shows how ignorant and evil paleontologists are. They contradict the wide variety of [[Protestant]] churchesBible. Wait a moment. The Bible's fantasy fiction. So paleontologists aren't evil after all.
====The Chuch expands: Jerusalem to Rome=Previous snarky summary===Perhaps the most popular fantasy novel ever written. Wait a moment -- Moslems think the [[Koran]] is better! Anyway, the main character, Jesus (a zombie who was his own father) was born of a virgin. He came to tell mankind that they should believe in him or he will punish them for eternity in hell ( a dark hot place underground). To prove that he is not just faking he did magic tricks for the people who would listen to his speeches. He told people that the earth was create 8 thousand years ago, over a seven day period. He put two people Adam and Eve on earth. They ate an apple when he told them not to, so he decided they should suffer and die by being kicked out of paradise. All of mankind is their inbred descendants. Later an alcoholic named Moses built a boat because God told him to. God then told him to collect two of the billions of species on earth in just a few days. Once all the species were collected, God drowned everything, and everyone else because they pissed him off. Then Moses and his wife got down to the inbreeding. Within a few more thousand years all the different races of humanity had diverged, and all the plants animals, insects etc. had repopulated the earth. Then some filthy Jews escaped Egypt and wondered around the desert for a while before making Israel. Jesus was born the filthy Jews killed him, he went to hell and laughed at all the people that were sent there came back to life as zombie, and told everyone spooky stories about hell. Then he went to heaven a (happy place up in the sky) the end.